Growing up is massively overrated. Sure, adulthood has its perks – wine with dinner, no set curfews and the freedom to buy an entire Colin the Caterpillar cake just for ourselves. But those luxuries come wrapped in responsibility and expectation overload: bills, adult admin, financial pressures, social demands, and the constant illusion that we’re fully independent ‘grown ups’.
Let’s be honest: most of us are just playing dress-up as adults. We still call our parents twice a day, drag a bag of laundry home every other weekend, and Google things like “how long does chicken last in the fridge?” on the regular.
And don’t even get me started on the mysterious world of adulthood essentials. Everyone raves about a Le Creuset…honestly, is it a casserole dish or a French Impressionist?
Sometimes, the only thing that makes it all feel bearable is the idea that we finally have the freedom to be and do whatever we want to, albeit in a slightly messy, chaotic, and fake-it-till-you-make-it way.
So, let’s break down the myth of the fully functioning adult, from moving out of home to booking your MOTs…and figure out if any of us are really doing this “grown-up” thing properly.
Going It Alone
Ah, the thrill of your first flat. Freedom, independence, a kitchen that’s all yours. You imagine scented candles glowing, wine glasses clinking, and finally having that “grown-up” life you saw on Friends.
Reality? You actually have to buy your own toilet roll. Nobody warns you about the ongoing cost of household basics – loo roll, bin bags, milk, all the things your Mum magically replenished while you were too busy complaining about being asked to unload the dishwasher.
Shall we agree that the big step into adulthood and living ‘independently’ is basically just a newfound appreciation for your childhood privileges and the rude awakening that you have to pay for a TV license (we’ll have that debate another day, shall we).
And then, there’s flat-sharing. Because let’s be real, living alone is a financial impossibility unless you’ve secretly won the lottery or inherited young. Instead of your dream of serene wine nights, you’re negotiating fridge space, side-eyeing the passive-aggressive “clean up after yourself” notes, and discovering that apparently some people do think an empty bottle and dirty plate counts as décor.
Suddenly, your parents’ wisdom of “always keep bread in the freezer” hits harder than any inspirational TED Talk. And yes, you’ll still call Mum to ask if it’s safe to tumble dry your ‘nice’ jumper because you can’t work the symbols out on the label.
Financial Independence (Or so they call it)
Bills. Rent. Council tax. Broadband. Terminology that sounds made up to rip you off (seriously, what even is a mbps?). Suddenly, your monthly outgoings are swallowing two-thirds of your paycheck and you’re left budgeting your weekly shop like you’re on Come Dine With Me: Poverty Edition. Groceries are no longer about butcher’s meat and artisan cheeses – it’s Aldi’s finest frozen pizzas and the eternal hunt for a yellow sticker bargain.
Then there’s energy bills. Not only do you have to pay them, but you’re also expected to read a meter. Why does the number look like a nuclear launch code? Do I have to do this every month? Cue – phone call to Dad asking about price caps and smart meters.
Of course, someone then tells you to get a credit card “it’ll build your credit score!” Translation…you’ll rely on it just to make it to the end of the month. Gone are the days of Googling last-minute holidays to Greece. Now it’s “best savings accounts 2025” and “should I invest in stocks and shares?” even though you don’t know who or what a dividend is (sounds like a posh biscuit). Suddenly, £50 feels like a mortgage payment. Payday hits your account, you blink, and somehow it’s gone. The only thing that disappears quicker is prosecco at brunch.
Then comes the “latte” realisation. You know the one; that smug article told you, “If you just stop buying a coffee a day, you’ll save for a house.” Correction! You’ll save enough for one week’s food shop and maybe a multipack of crisps. Property ladder? Don’t make me laugh.
Adult Administration: GP Appointments, MOTs and Bin Day
Let’s talk about the real boss level of adulting: life admin. Making your own GP appointment feels less like a phone call and more like launching a NASA mission. Gone are the days when your Mum would casually ring on your behalf, now it’s you, sweaty-palmed, rehearsing your symptoms in your head, only to be met with a receptionist who treats you like you’ve just asked for a kidney transplant. “No appointments until mid-2026?” Brilliant, guess I’ll just live with this rash.
And then there’s the car. MOT, insurance, servicing…why does your little hatchback need more check-ups than a Victorian child in a Dickens novel? The moment it makes a weird noise, you do what every fully grown adult does: call your dad. His response? “Ring the garage.” Instant heart palpitations, sweaty pits, and the sudden urge to emigrate somewhere public transport actually works.
Then there’s the joy of council tax and HMRC letters. Why do they insist on sending correspondence written in an ancient dialect only decipherable by hieroglyphics experts? Are you in credit, under paying, or have you accidentally funded a new government department? Nobody knows. You spend hours Googling tax codes and dreaming of a simpler life – like living under your parents’ roof again, with a full fridge and clean surfaces.
Admin doesn’t stop there…bin day becomes a weekly game of Russian roulette. Is it general waste? Recycling? Garden waste? Why does everyone else on the street know instinctively while you’re wheeling the wrong bin out at 11pm in your slippers?
And through it all, procrastination becomes a coping mechanism:
- “I’ll book it tomorrow.”
- “Tomorrow-tomorrow.”
- “Okay, one more episode then I’ll do it.”
…Cut to three weeks later: unopened letters stacked on the counter, the MOT reminder glaring at you from your inbox, and an overflowing recycling bin. Adulthood: 1, You: 0.
The Illusion of Full Adulthood
Here’s the truth: most of us aren’t fully functioning adults. We’re just functioning enough. Paying rent? Tick. Remembering to eat vegetables? Occasionally. Not crying in Tesco when a pack of ham costs £3.50? Next question…
Independence is chaotic, awkward, and usually a “make do and mend” situation. You’re not alone if you still call Dad before buying tyres, or text Mum a photo of that rash (yes, gross, but she’ll know what to do). Being a grown-up doesn’t mean you’ve got it all figured out, it just means you’ve mastered the art of winging it.
So, how do we survive the adulthood gauntlet without completely losing our minds?
1. Embrace the small wins.
Did you remember to put the right bin out? Paid a bill on time? Booked your GP appointment without crying? Celebrate. Adulting is a marathon, not a sprint.
2. Keep a parent on speed dial…wisely.
Asking for advice isn’t failure. It’s a good use of resources! Just maybe don’t call Dad at 11pm when there’s a spider in the bath and trust yourself that the chicken is actually cooked. I would suggest a calm, collected text message starting with “How are you? Please help me” and maybe attach a photo of today’s life dilemma for context.
3. Budget like a (realistic) adult.
Yes, groceries cost more than a cocktail at Happy Hour, and rent can feel like a mortgage, but spreadsheets, apps, or even a simple “envelope system” can save your sanity. Treat yourself occasionally, it’s not a crime and life’s too short. Wine counts as a utility if it keeps your morale high.
4. Don’t fear the admin.
Calendar reminders, auto-pay for bills, and writing down phone numbers and contact details for your GP, Dentist, Car Garage etc will reduce heart palpitations. Accept that some days it will still feel like rocket science, and that is perfectly fine. Best advice…become besties with Dave the mechanic, Jeff the postman who knows your weekly parcel deliveries by name, and the corner shop owner who now asks if you’re “eating properly.” Somehow, by leaning on a mix of persistence and pragmatism you’ll be alright.
5. Make independence work for you.
Moving out, managing finances, handling admin…it’s all practice. You don’t need to be perfect; just consistent. And if things go wrong, remember: you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs and realistically, everyone else is winging it too.
In short: adulthood isn’t about perfection. It’s about survival, adaptation, and knowing when to reach for the wine. You might never fully “grow up,” but you can absolutely live your version of ‘adult’ life in whichever way comes naturally.
You Can Do It
Nobody ever hands you a manual for ‘how to be a grown up’. The truth is that getting older means mess, chaos, expense, and sometimes just utter confusion. It’s a strange mix of responsibility, panic Googling, and pretending you know what you’re doing. Some days you feel like you’re barely scraping by, and other days you discover small victories; a fully cooked dinner with vegetables, a bill paid on time, or even a car that hasn’t broken down this week.
In all honesty, no one really has it all together. What matters is that you’re learning, adapting, and laughing along the way. You’ll make friends in unexpected places; from your local garage to the corner shop cashier, and slowly, piece by piece, the chaos becomes manageable.
The hope to cling to is that, somehow, completely inexplicably…we do it. We live. We laugh. And then we become the parents on the end of the phone with all the answers (or at least we become better at blagging it!).
ON THAT NOTE…
🍷Today’s Wine Pairing is…
LAMBRINI – cheap, cheerful, slightly fizzy, and deeply nostalgic. The perfect throwback for when adulting gets too real and you just need to remember the days when your biggest problem was what to wear to the non-uniform day at school.
CHEERS…to figuring it all out, eventually!
H x
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