Welcome to the dream of “going travelling” – where every day is a golden-hour photoshoot, your backpack holds the secrets of minimalist living, and you drift from city to city like a free-spirited digital nomad with perfect hair. Your Instagram grid will sparkle with untouched beaches, smoothies served in coconuts, and your new life mantra: “Not all those who wander are lost”.
Now, for the small print. Sunburn that makes you look like a boiled prawn. Lost luggage that only ever contains your favourite clothes. Hostels so dodgy the cockroaches leave you a bad review. Bowel explosions in a small local restaurant that results in evacuating the building. “Ordering an Uber” that turns out to be hopping on the back of a stranger’s motorbike. Boarding the wrong excursion bus and finding yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere, trying to find your way to a zipline course. Accidentally booking a hotel on Bangkok’s red-light street because you’re not culturally or geographically intelligent. Or my personal favourite: floating in the sea, getting slapped in the face by a fish and earning a black eye on what was meant to be a “relaxing island retreat.”
Here’s the truth: backpacking isn’t glamorous, you probably won’t “find yourself” on a mountaintop, and the emotional rollercoaster will be extreme. But you will come home with a lifetime of stories, bruises, friendships and memories that you’ll cherish forever.
In this post, I’m breaking down the glossy travel expectations versus the gloriously messy reality, plus the tips to help you survive, thrive, and maybe even enjoy the chaos along the way.
Let’s unpack this…
- Packing
Expectation: You’ve nailed minimalist travel. One sleek backpack, neatly folded capsule wardrobe, and perfectly labelled packing cubes sliding in like Tetris blocks. You look like a pro who’s about to breeze through border crossings.
Reality: Ten thousand packing cubes somehow bursting out of a 65L backpack that weighs as much as a small elephant. Straps digging into your shoulders, flip-flops dangling off the side, and the sneaking suspicion you’ve packed more than you ever owned. You’ll still forget toothpaste and where the hell did you put your passport?.
Tip: Lay out everything you think you’ll need, halve it, then halve it again. Buy the rest locally for a fraction of the price. (And yes, snacks still take priority.)
2. Public Transport
Expectation: You’re up bright and early, sipping an iced latte in your breezy linen outfit, ready to glide onto a comfy, air-conditioned bus with Wi-Fi and scenic views. You’ll nap peacefully, journal about your adventures, and arrive fresh as a daisy.
Reality: You got one hour’s sleep after “immersing in local nightlife” and now it’s 5 a.m, you look like sh*t and your portable charger has gone walkabout. You’re on a rickety bus for a four-hour journey down roads that barely exist, flying out of your seat at each pothole. The air smells of sweaty armpits, stale clothes and – wait – is that someone’s cheese snack or your own feet? And if you thought a sleeper train would be better? Think again. There’s no Wi-Fi anywhere, only existential dread and a slight touch of homesickness.
Tip: Accept that “luxury coach” is code for “deathtrap rollercoaster.” Bring water, tissues, wipes and headphones. Claim a window seat if you can, brace for bumps, and embrace the full sensory experience of “authentic travel.” And forget the travel pillow, there’s no rest for the wicked and certainly no space in your bag. You chose to roam the world; now it’s time to dive into every sleepless, sweaty, unforgettable mile.
3. Accommodation
Expectation: Boutique hostels with Instagram-worthy rooms, fluffy towels, clean sheets, friendly roommates, and maybe even a rooftop bar. You’ll meet like-minded travellers, share stories over cocktails, and sleep like a queen.
Reality: You arrive to find a bunk bed room shared with five strangers, one of whom snores like a small chainsaw. Cockroaches apparently also want in on the bunk action. The bathroom is communal, smells of brown and you’ll look up to see some mystery mould, and your “immersive local homestay” suddenly includes a very hands-on lesson in outdoor toilet logistics: yes, that means a bucket flush over a pothole. You learn very quickly that “authentic experience” is code for “you will not sleep well and may develop a new fear of being outside.”
Tip: Pack earplugs, a sleep mask, and anti-bug spray. Bonus: bring a small, thin, foldable sheet to sleep on if you’re nervous about the accommodation. Lower your expectations and remember: you’ll always have a story to tell when you get back home.
4. Culture / Food
Expectation: Exotic street food every meal, endless noodles, stir-fry, curries, and fresh fruit smoothies. Your taste buds will be dancing samba every day while you Instagram every colourful plate.
Reality: By day three, the novelty has worn off. You’re dreaming of a greasy western diner pizza and questioning why every curry tastes exactly the same. Museums and temples are amazing, but after visiting ten with identical statues and backstories, your brain starts to glaze over and so does your stomach if you don’t get a little variety.
Tip: Embrace the local cuisine, try new dishes, eat street food, get adventurous. But also remember: it’s no crime to indulge in something familiar every now and then. That little slice of home can feel like a reset button for your taste buds and sanity.
5. Meeting New People
Expectation: You’ll arrive at hostels and instantly meet lifelong friends from around the world. Deep conversations under lantern-lit bars, laughter until 3 a.m, and instant bonds that will never be broken.
Reality: Bonding often happens over dodgy stomachs, random karaoke songs, and hilarious language barriers. You’ll meet amazing travellers, swap stories, and share experiences you’ll never forget…but don’t be surprised if a few characters aren’t exactly your cup of tea. Not everyone will be someone you’d “bunk” with again, there will 100% be some behind the scenes gossiping…and that’s perfectly fine.
Tip: Embrace the chaos, laugh at the mishaps, and cherish the friendships that stick, and politely avoid the ones that don’t. The thing is, you might not keep all the friends you make along the way, life gets in the way and travelling all over the world to see people isn’t always possible. BUT you’ll keep the memories forever, a life well lived I say!
6. Finding Yourself Abroad
Expectation: You’ll wake up every morning enlightened, journal in a hammock, meditate by waterfalls, and return home spiritually awakened, glowing, and totally transformed.
Reality: You still hate early mornings, you’ve developed a new appreciation for toilets with an actual seat, your laundry smells suspicious, and your “spiritual awakening” mostly consists of surviving a trek through a jungle, mosquito bites, and the occasional tropical rainstorm. Realisation hits: you’re exactly the same person…just with more stories, more stamps in your passport, and a newfound love for 7-Eleven toasties!
Tip: Embrace the messy version of self-discovery. Every misadventure, every wrong turn, and every sweaty armpit is part of the journey. Growth happens in the chaos of the real world, not just in Instagrammable ‘beauty’ spots.
7. Money
Expectation: You’ll have your budget planned to the penny, effortlessly navigating foreign ATMs, calculating exchange rates in your head, and always paying the correct amount.
Reality: There are about a thousand different currencies in the world and, surprise, you won’t remember their names. You’re waving monopoly notes and tiny coins around, hoping you’re giving the right ones, while mentally calculating if you can survive on $3 for lunch. Counting change becomes a full-time job, and good luck with any “fancy” notes. That £5 note with a tiny hole that’s fine in the UK? Over there, it’s instantly void. Small pen marks? Don’t even think about it. You learn fast that currency rules are made to be feared and respected.
Tip: Count your change meticulously, keep a few backup notes tucked safely away, and accept that some mistakes are unavoidable. You’re travelling and part of that means spending money. And remember: surviving the day on tiny denominations is part of the adventure, just practice your bargaining skills…market vendors are tricky!
8. Holiday Romance
Expectation: You’ll have a dreamy fling under the tropical sun; swimming in waterfalls, sunsets in the background, and sparks flying like a Netflix rom-com.
Reality: Holiday romance isn’t the steamy travel montage you’ve imagined, it’s often a little cringey and hilariously chaotic. The romanticised tuk-tuk ride? Mostly awkward small talk while you cling on for dear life as the driver dodges cows, potholes and his cousin is trying to sell you bracelets. That sunset beach walk? Interrupted by a rogue street dog running off with your flip-flop. The instant love connection? A bonding chat over matching mosquito bites, sunburn and happy hour cocktail buckets. Not every connection is a great love story, but every awkward encounter makes for a brilliant story to tell back home.
Tip: Keep it light, embrace the fun, and don’t stress if sparks don’t fly. Holiday romances aren’t about perfection; it’s about the laughs, the mishaps, and the occasional cheesy selfie with someone you might never see again. P.S you’re not in love, it’s the sunburn mixed with the cocktails!
9. Learning Basic Phrases
Expectation: You’ll glide through markets and cafés speaking fluent, charming phrases. Locals will smile at your accent, compliment your pronunciation, and you’ll feel like a polyglot travel pro.
Reality: You panic, mispronounce everything, and accidentally ask for a goat instead of a coffee. The locals switch to English out of pity, and you spend half your day gesturing wildly and hoping they understand. Somehow, you randomly find yourself confidently saying “thank you” in a sort of Brummie Cambodian and later learn how to say “I love you” in Vietnamese just because…well, why not? Still, half the time you forget how to say hello but a wave will suffice.
Tip: Learn a handful of solid phrases – hello, please and thank you. Everything else can be improvised with hand gestures, smiles, and a quick go on duolingo in the hotel room. P.S. learning “I love you” in a local language may not help with transactions, but it makes for a funny memory.
10. Coming Home
Expectation: You’ll return enlightened, glowing, full of stories, and maybe even slightly taller from all that hiking. Family and friends will marvel at your worldly wisdom, and your luggage will be neatly unpacked within minutes.
Reality: Jet lag hits like a freight train. You’re exhausted, your laundry pile could collapse a small building, and…you stink. Your friends are mildly impressed but mostly confused by all your tales of life-threatening boat trips, bus journeys, dodgy noodles, and 7-Eleven toasties. You secretly miss the chaos of the sweaty hostels, that karaoke song, and all the weird, wonderful encounters that made you feel alive.
Tip: Give yourself a buffer week to recover, unpack at your own pace, and actually savour your memories instead of crash-landing back into reality. Coming home is hard but it’s part of the adventure…a bittersweet mash-up of excitement, nostalgia, and the itch to go again. Use it. Turn your photos and stories into a scrapbook, laugh at the disasters, and start plotting your next trip. Adventures don’t come with a quota, the only limit is how many times you’re willing to pack that backpack again. And when the post-trip blues hit? Pour a glass of wine, toast your courage, and start planning the next stamp for your passport.
BONUS TIP: ‘Becoming An Influencer’
Expectation: You’ll effortlessly create Instagrammable content: flawless sunrise photos, endless reels, and captions that go viral while you sip coconuts on the beach.
Reality: Producing one “perfect” reel takes hours. All your time is spent worrying about which song to use, taking videos of literally everything and sweating through your elephant trousers trying to get that one usable shot. That dreamy hammock view? Mostly spent crouched outside of it in awkward positions trying to get rid of your double chin. Cue the realisation that the waterfall you climbed up to see was viewed mainly through your iPhone camera than your own eyes.
Tip: Capture memories, not just content. Post the bloopers, lean into authenticity, and don’t let chasing views ruin your trip. Sometimes the best stories happen when your phone is in your pocket! Travel should be about the experience, not just the grid and the basic wine glass at sunset still counts as content. Oh and for the record…free Wi-Fi doesn’t upload reels!
Finally…
You won’t always “find yourself” on a mountaintop or magically master every language or currency, and some experiences will test your patience (and your stomach). Yet every wrong bus, every awkward encounter, and every unexpected adventure becomes a story you’ll tell, and treasure, forever.
So pack your backpack, embrace the chaos, the mayhem, take the detours, and don’t be afraid to look ridiculous sometimes. Laugh at the disasters, and remember: the best memories come from the moments you didn’t plan. And when all else fails, find a 7-Eleven, grab a toastie, pour a cheap glass of wine, and cheers to your big adventure!
Collect your sunburn, mosquito bites, and spontaneous adventures like badges of honour, because at the end of the day, the best souvenirs aren’t in gift shops, they’re in the stories you bring back.
ON THAT NOTE
🍷Today’s Wine Pairing is…
Vinho Verde (Portugal) – Light, slightly fizzy, and super refreshing. Perfect for sipping after a day of sweating on a rickety bus or dodging stray tuk-tuks. It’s playful, approachable, and won’t judge you for surviving on instant noodles.
CHEERS! To the memories that last longer than the tan 😉
See you in a week pals 🍷
H x
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