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Tag: Life in your 20s

  • Sun, Sand & Sulking: Why Some People Just Can’t Enjoy Their Holiday

    Photo by Natalya Zaritskaya on Unsplash

    As we are nearing closer to the dreaded (for some) end to the glorious summer, we are taking this opportunity to discuss a topic that will most likely be relative to many of our readers. We are also SO EXCITED to introduce a brand new feature to the blog…‘Readers’ Rants’: where we hand the mic to you, our brilliant readers, to share your funniest, strangest and most infuriating real-life stories. A new monthly feature that gives a new lease of life to your ‘Whines of the Week’!

    There’s a certain type of traveller who’s so used to convenience that they can’t handle even the tiniest inconvenience. You know the type: the person who books an all-inclusive five-star resort in the Caribbean and then loudly complains the sand is “too sandy.” Or the one who spends thousands to “live like the locals” and then has a meltdown because there’s no oat milk and the shower’s cold.

    This is what we call the ‘holiday privilege bubble’ – when people forget the actual purpose of travelling is to experience something different. Different weather, different food, different vibes. Instead, some people treat “different” as a personal insult.

    Why the Privilege Bubble Exists (and Why It Pops Abroad)

    The “privilege bubble” isn’t just being spoilt – it’s a cocktail of habits, comfort zones and psychology. At home, our routines are slick and predictable: fast Wi-Fi, Uber in three minutes, oat lattes on demand, and customer service that bends over backwards to apologise for a two-minute delay. We subconsciously build a mental model that this is normal.

    Take that model on holiday, and suddenly nothing matches. Airport queues stretch for hours, the toilets are a paper-free lottery, and no one cares about your loyalty points. This mismatch between expectation and reality creates what psychologists call a frustration gap, and complaining is how some people fill it.

    In other words:

    • Comfort zones shrink abroad. When you’re used to everything running perfectly, imperfection feels like an insult. Some travellers expect everything to run like a Swiss train timetable. The moment something’s “late” they spiral and that’s the holiday ruined.
    • Loss of control triggers stress. Travelling strips away our ability to micromanage every detail. For some, that feels threatening. New languages, different customs, and strange food can make people defensive. Complaining is often just anxiety in disguise because anything outside the comfort zone is a struggle for some.
    • Social comparison ramps up. Seeing other people “glide” through travel (or appear to on Instagram) amplifies the sense you’re “doing it wrong.” Instagram sells us the dream of “effortless” travel. Reality is standing in a queue with your sweaty passport and needing a wee.
    • Complaining becomes a coping strategy and a force of habit. It’s easier to vent about the queue than sit with the discomfort of being out of your depth. Let’s be honest…some people moan at home, some people moan abroad. A change of scenery doesn’t change personality and certainly doesn’t change the habits of a lifetime!

    But here’s the good news: stepping out of the bubble is exactly what makes travel transformative. The delays, the queues, the “foreignness” all of it stretches your patience, your humour, and your empathy. In short, a popped privilege bubble is a good thing…even if it’s annoying at the time.

    Readers’ Rants:

    Welcome to Readers’ Rants, the corner of the internet where we hand the mic to you, our brilliant readers, to share your funniest, strangest and most infuriating real-life stories. This week? A Greek getaway, a private transfer, and one holidaymaker who simply could not stop moaning.

    “We’re on Holiday – No Rush!”

    The 3 hour flight was complete, just a little hop-over to Kalamata airport for our week’s girlfriend holiday in Greece, two-centered because that’s how we roll. Alight the plane into the beautiful balmy sunshine, down the steps, across the tarmac and into the building…the very small, very full building. But that’s OK – we’re on holiday – no rush. Join the queue to pass the eagle eyed women on passport control (why is it you always feel like a fraud). This queue is long. Very long. It’s not really moving at the moment – probably because it’s Greek siesta time! But that’s OK – we’re on holiday – no rush. Slowly make our way through and find our driver (for our private transfer – because…that’s how we roll!). 

    Oh, need a wee before we get comfy in a modern, air conditioned people carrier for our 45 minute journey to sun, sea, and SLEEP. Join the queue for the toilet – but that’s OK – we’re on holiday – no rush.

    ….and then, ‘that’ person pipes up “Well I shall never come here again. Queue for the passports, queue for the toilets….” WOW. Some people aren’t happy unless they’ve something to whine about. Babe, you have literally just arrived on holiday having left the very wet, very cold Blighty behind for a week…or perhaps even two…to relax under the warm sun (providing it’s not too hot for you), swim in the crystal clear sea (as long as it’s not too rocky for you at the shore line), wander along the sandy beaches (avoiding those blasted sea turtle nests cordoned off with old sticks and rope), feast on local cuisine (yep, that foreign muck), and drink glorious Sex on the Beach while watching the breathtaking sunset over the ocean (I don’t know why the cocktails have to have such crude names and blimey, you might have to put your cardi on). I know babe…call this a relaxing break?!?!? CHILL OUT my friend – it’s OK – we’re on holiday – no rush, no problem….just roll with it and be *grateful*.

    And P.S. those sea turtles need all the help they can get, because only 1 in 1000 will make it past infancy…and I bet they’re grateful!

    ZK x

    If you have a rant worthy of a read, no matter the topic, we want to hear it! Get in touch via our Contact Us page or via our Socials and you could be a feature on our monthly ‘Readers’ Rants’!

    Life Advice for Dealing With Privileged Moaners

    • Set Boundaries: Don’t let their negativity hijack your holiday mood. Nod, smile, escape to the bar. Learn to ignore them, because ultimately, it doesn’t affect you.
    • Find the Funny: Treat their complaints like background comedy. Use it as entertainment and a story to tell when you go home. “Too many turtles” is basically free inspiration for a stand up show.
    • Gratitude Grounding: When you’re tempted to join in the moaning, remember: you’re on holiday. You’re lucky enough to be travelling, to have escaped the gripes of everyday life, you are free to do as you please…don’t waste it being negative! Guaranteed as soon as you land back at home, you will long to have appreciated it more.
    • Strategic Earbuds: Music or a podcast can save your sanity in queues or on transport and drown out any grumbling. And hey, if it gets really bad, take out your earbud, pop it in said grumblers mouth like a cork and use passive aggression to your advantage… (Not my most helpful tip, but it would be a hilariously funny story!)

    The Bottom Line

    Travel is queues, waiting, and occasional chaos wrapped around unforgettable memories. You’ll never appreciate the sunset cocktails without the sweaty passport queue that came before. So the next time someone starts their “I shall never come here again” speech, remember: they’re stuck in their privilege bubble, but you’re free to roll your eyes, order another drink and stay safe in the knowledge that you are better than them.

    Relax. Be grateful. Take a photo. Help the turtles. And if all else fails, channel your inner Greek island vibe: “No rush. No problem.”

    On that note…

    🍷Today’s Wine Pairing is…

    Vinho Verde – Lago: This is light, fresh and citrusy! Perfect for those relaxed holiday vibes and a personal recommendation of mine!

    CHEERS!! To sun, sea and to keeping calm while the privileged moan around us. May your cocktails be cold, your queue short, and your patience endless!

    See you in a week!!

    H x

    NEVER MISS A POST! ~ SUBSCRIBE NOW (it’s free!)

  • “GYMTIMIDATION!” What It Is, Why We All Get It, and How to Beat The Anxiety

    Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash

    Walking into a gym in today’s society, can feel like stepping into a foreign world. Machines that look like medieval torture devices, perfectly coordinated fitness outfits everywhere, and the unspoken rules that no one explains…it’s enough to make even the most confident person freeze. This feeling has a name: Gymtimidation. It’s that sinking feeling of “everyone knows what they’re doing except me,” mixed with mild panic, mild envy, and sometimes a desperate need for the toilet. Sound familiar? You are not alone…

    According to a 2022 survey by The Gym Group, one in three Brits suffer from gymtimidation, with 32% of women citing it as the biggest barrier to joining. Additionally, 53% of women are deterred from joining gyms due to perceived pressure to wear lycra. This widespread anxiety isn’t just about body image; 29% of people have felt uncomfortable in the gym because they didn’t know how to use equipment.


    In this post, we’ll explore what ‘gymtimidation’ really is and why so many of us experience it. We’ll share some painfully true stories, and give you practical tips to survive the chaos…or run for the wine fridge, whichever you feel works best!

    What Exactly is Gymtimidation?

    Gymtimidation is the official term for feeling like a fish out of water in the fitness world. Symptoms include:

    • Pretending you know what a cable pulley does while standing awkwardly tying your lace and silently panicking.
    • Worrying that your old freshers t-shirt is being judged on Instagram by brand obsessive gym-snobs.
    • Overthinking every stride on the treadmill like it’s the final scene in a fitness movie montage. 

    In short, it’s the gym’s version of social anxiety, sprinkled with a healthy dose of paranoia. And guess what? Almost everyone experiences it! Yes, even the ones flexing in front of the mirror like their reflection owes them money.

    Why Do We All Experience Gymtimidation?

    It’s simple: gyms are basically a high-pressure reality TV show with questionable rules, and we’re all contestants pretending we belong. Here’s why almost everyone feels this anxiety:

    1. Everyone Else Knows More (Or Pretends To)

    At the gym, there’s always someone who seems to have been born with perfect form. They hop between machines like it’s an Olympic event, lift weights like they were forged in the gym gods’ lair, and somehow manage to look effortless while sweating. Meanwhile, you’re staring at a leg abductor like it’s a prop from Star Trek, silently wondering if pressing the wrong lever will launch you into orbit.

    1. Outfit Anxiety

    From perfectly coordinated leggings and sports bras to trainers that have never touched a pavement, the pressure to “look the part” is real. We’ve now entered the era of the ‘bum-sculpt’ Lycra – designed to lift and shape, but in reality it mostly wedges itself into places that definitely weren’t meant for that much friction. Meanwhile, you’re rocking the oversized t-shirt, shorts with a worn hole in the crotch, and trainers that have seen far better days. Comfort > style, but that doesn’t stop your inner critic from cringing with every mirror glance. On the bright side, at least you won’t be constantly yanking your pants out of uncomfortable places!

    1. Fear of Making a Mistake 

    Machines are complicated. Buttons, levers, pulleys – one wrong adjustment, and suddenly you’re stuck in a leg press contortion act while everyone silently judges your technical incompetence. Even simple things like adjusting a treadmill speed can feel like diffusing a bomb in an action movie, or the pulldowns…one wrong move and suddenly you’re launching the weight like a catapult, praying no one’s close enough to get hit. And let’s be honest, we would much rather escape quickly with our dignity than ask a real human for help.

    4 . Awkward Equipment Etiquette

    The Machine Hog: there’s always one person who treats the popular machines like their personal sofa, scrolling TikTok between half-hearted reps while you hover nearby, trying not to look too desperate.

    The Rep Question: nothing strikes fear like “How many sets you got left?” Sets? Reps? Honestly, I’m just trying not to drop this barbell on my face. And your hovering presence isn’t exactly speeding up my progress!

    Musical Chairs: you finally build the courage to try a new machine, only to realise three other people have laid claim to it with towels, water bottles, or the unspoken “I was here first” glare. Do you wait? Do you move on? Do you cry in the changing room?

    The Weights Scatter: why does every dumbbell under 10kg vanish into thin air, yet the floor is littered with the heaviest ones nobody normal can lift? It’s like a gym-based treasure hunt, but without the reward.

    At the end of the day, it’s a cocktail of envy, insecurity, and uncertainty – shaken, not stirred –  with a generous dash of maybe I should’ve just stayed home with a glass of wine. 🍷

    A Personal Disaster

    One of my earliest gym visits is burned into my memory:

    I’d only been a few times, confidence barely making an appearance and courage nowhere to be seen. I had been making the rookie mistake of heading straight for the “safe zone” – the treadmill. Though this time, walking briskly, I felt smug. As if this time around, on my third visit, I could class myself as an avid gym member…until gravity had other plans. Out of nowhere, I realised I needed the loo. Badly. But I didn’t want to look weird (or worse, like a quitter) by leaving just five minutes after I’d arrived. So I sucked it in and persevered.

    Big mistake.

    Next, I decided it was time to try the leg press. As I drew my legs toward me, disaster struck: I farted. Loudly. Loud enough that the whole gym might have heard, though I prayed everyone had AirPods blasting “Eye of the Tiger.” I called time, abandoned ship, high-tailed it out of there before the smell confirmed my guilt, and learned a valuable lesson: always use the loo before entering the gym.

    This, dear reader, is why Gymtimidation exists – humiliation is lurking at every corner, and yet somehow, it’s hilarious in hindsight.

    How to Beat Gymtimidation (Without Losing Your Mind)

    • Plan Like a Secret Agent

    Have a simple workout plan, so you don’t end up wandering around pretending to belong like a lost extra in a spy film. Bonus: writing it down on your phone makes you look intentional, not confused.

    • Dress for Sanity, Not the Runway

    Wear clothes that make you feel like a functioning human, not a fitness influencer auditioning for Love Island. If that means your comfiest leggings or a t-shirt from 2007, so be it. Lycra bum-sculpt wedgies are strictly optional.

    • Learn the Machines (Beforehand)

    Most gyms offer free tutorials from staff – use them, the embarrassment is in your head. YouTube is also your friend: watch at home, practise in your living room, pretend you’re a professional, then enter the gym with enough confidence to at least look like you know which lever does what. Accidental orbit launches, again, are optional.

    • Choose Low-Traffic Times

    Avoid peak hours if you can. A quieter gym means fewer witnesses to your accidental grunts, squeaks, or machine-induced confusion. Plus, no one’s hovering behind you asking how many “reps” you’ve got left. If they do, a classy flip of the finger works a treat!

    • Bring a Buddy (Optional but Recommended)

    A friend provides moral support, spotting, and comedy value. Bonus: you’ll have someone to laugh with when things inevitably go wrong… or when your leg press results in an unexpected trumpet solo.

    • Embrace the Chaos

    Everyone messes up. Machines malfunction, form slips, treadmills rebel – it’s part of the game. Laugh at yourself, keep moving, and remember: gym humiliation fades faster than your playlist when your AirPods run out of battery. No one is looking, no one cares and neither should you.

    Mindest Magic

    Walking into a gym can feel like turning up to a party where everyone else knows the dance moves — but here’s the thing: no one’s really watching you as much as you think they are. Most people are too busy checking their own form (or secretly filming TikToks) to care that you’re still figuring out which way the rowing machine faces.

    The secret isn’t to eliminate the nerves, but to carry on anyway. Start small. Clap for yourself when you learn how to adjust a seat without it clattering loudly across the room. Celebrate the moment you realise no one actually cares that your socks don’t match. And if you survive an entire session without accidentally breaking wind mid-squat? That’s basically a personal best.

    Gymtimidation doesn’t disappear overnight, but it shrinks each time you show up. With every awkward attempt, you’re building not just muscle but confidence too. Besides, if you think this is a lot, just wait until we dive into the great ‘protein powder myth’. Spoiler alert: it’s not always the ‘whey’ forward!

    So… walk in, give it a go, and don’t worry if you look a bit clueless. We all do. Worst case scenario? There’s always wine, and it never once asked you how many reps you had left. 🍷

    ON THAT NOTE…

    🍷Today’s Wine Pairing is…

    Chenin Blanc – Zesty enough to refresh after a sweaty workout you barely survived, yet smooth enough to soothe the sting of embarrassment when you accidentally launch a dumbbell across the floor.

    CHEERS…to lifting our confidence (and occasionally a dumbbell, if we must)!

    See ya soon

    H x

  • Why Is Adulting So Hard? ~ The Myth of Being A ‘Grown Up’

    Growing up is massively overrated. Sure, adulthood has its perks – wine with dinner, no set curfews and the freedom to buy an entire Colin the Caterpillar cake just for ourselves. But those luxuries come wrapped in responsibility and expectation overload: bills, adult admin, financial pressures, social demands, and the constant illusion that we’re fully independent ‘grown ups’.

    Let’s be honest: most of us are just playing dress-up as adults. We still call our parents twice a day, drag a bag of laundry home every other weekend, and Google things like “how long does chicken last in the fridge?” on the regular.

    And don’t even get me started on the mysterious world of adulthood essentials. Everyone raves about a Le Creuset…honestly, is it a casserole dish or a French Impressionist?

    Sometimes, the only thing that makes it all feel bearable is the idea that we finally have the freedom to be and do whatever we want to, albeit in a slightly messy, chaotic, and fake-it-till-you-make-it way.

    So, let’s break down the myth of the fully functioning adult, from moving out of home to booking your MOTs…and figure out if any of us are really doing this “grown-up” thing properly.

    Going It Alone

    Ah, the thrill of your first flat. Freedom, independence, a kitchen that’s all yours. You imagine scented candles glowing, wine glasses clinking, and finally having that “grown-up” life you saw on Friends.

    Reality? You actually have to buy your own toilet roll. Nobody warns you about the ongoing cost of household basics – loo roll, bin bags, milk, all the things your Mum magically replenished while you were too busy complaining about being asked to unload the dishwasher.

    Shall we agree that the big step into adulthood and living ‘independently’ is basically just a newfound appreciation for your childhood privileges and the rude awakening that you have to pay for a TV license (we’ll have that debate another day, shall we).

    And then, there’s flat-sharing. Because let’s be real, living alone is a financial impossibility unless you’ve secretly won the lottery or inherited young. Instead of your dream of serene wine nights, you’re negotiating fridge space, side-eyeing the passive-aggressive “clean up after yourself” notes, and discovering that apparently some people do think an empty bottle and dirty plate counts as décor.

    Suddenly, your parents’ wisdom of “always keep bread in the freezer” hits harder than any inspirational TED Talk. And yes, you’ll still call Mum to ask if it’s safe to tumble dry your ‘nice’ jumper because you can’t work the symbols out on the label.

    Financial Independence (Or so they call it)

    Bills. Rent. Council tax. Broadband. Terminology that sounds made up to rip you off (seriously, what even is a mbps?). Suddenly, your monthly outgoings are swallowing two-thirds of your paycheck and you’re left budgeting your weekly shop like you’re on Come Dine With Me: Poverty Edition. Groceries are no longer about butcher’s meat and artisan cheeses – it’s Aldi’s finest frozen pizzas and the eternal hunt for a yellow sticker bargain.

    Then there’s energy bills. Not only do you have to pay them, but you’re also expected to read a meter. Why does the number look like a nuclear launch code? Do I have to do this every month? Cue – phone call to Dad asking about price caps and smart meters.

    Of course, someone then tells you to get a credit card “it’ll build your credit score!” Translation…you’ll rely on it just to make it to the end of the month. Gone are the days of Googling last-minute holidays to Greece. Now it’s “best savings accounts 2025” and “should I invest in stocks and shares?” even though you don’t know who or what a dividend is (sounds like a posh biscuit). Suddenly, ÂŁ50 feels like a mortgage payment. Payday hits your account, you blink, and somehow it’s gone. The only thing that disappears quicker is prosecco at brunch.

    Then comes the “latte” realisation. You know the one; that smug article told you, “If you just stop buying a coffee a day, you’ll save for a house.” Correction! You’ll save enough for one week’s food shop and maybe a multipack of crisps. Property ladder? Don’t make me laugh.

    Adult Administration: GP Appointments, MOTs and Bin Day

    Let’s talk about the real boss level of adulting: life admin. Making your own GP appointment feels less like a phone call and more like launching a NASA mission. Gone are the days when your Mum would casually ring on your behalf, now it’s you, sweaty-palmed, rehearsing your symptoms in your head, only to be met with a receptionist who treats you like you’ve just asked for a kidney transplant. “No appointments until mid-2026?” Brilliant, guess I’ll just live with this rash.

    And then there’s the car. MOT, insurance, servicing…why does your little hatchback need more check-ups than a Victorian child in a Dickens novel? The moment it makes a weird noise, you do what every fully grown adult does: call your dad. His response? “Ring the garage.” Instant heart palpitations, sweaty pits, and the sudden urge to emigrate somewhere public transport actually works.

    Then there’s the joy of council tax and HMRC letters. Why do they insist on sending correspondence written in an ancient dialect only decipherable by hieroglyphics experts? Are you in credit, under paying, or have you accidentally funded a new government department? Nobody knows. You spend hours Googling tax codes and dreaming of a simpler life – like living under your parents’ roof again, with a full fridge and clean surfaces.

    Admin doesn’t stop there…bin day becomes a weekly game of Russian roulette. Is it general waste? Recycling? Garden waste? Why does everyone else on the street know instinctively while you’re wheeling the wrong bin out at 11pm in your slippers?

    And through it all, procrastination becomes a coping mechanism:

    • “I’ll book it tomorrow.”
    • “Tomorrow-tomorrow.”
    • “Okay, one more episode then I’ll do it.”

    …Cut to three weeks later: unopened letters stacked on the counter, the MOT reminder glaring at you from your inbox, and an overflowing recycling bin. Adulthood: 1, You: 0.

    The Illusion of Full Adulthood

    Here’s the truth: most of us aren’t fully functioning adults. We’re just functioning enough. Paying rent? Tick. Remembering to eat vegetables? Occasionally. Not crying in Tesco when a pack of ham costs £3.50? Next question…

    Independence is chaotic, awkward, and usually a “make do and mend” situation. You’re not alone if you still call Dad before buying tyres, or text Mum a photo of that rash (yes, gross, but she’ll know what to do). Being a grown-up doesn’t mean you’ve got it all figured out, it just means you’ve mastered the art of winging it.

    So, how do we survive the adulthood gauntlet without completely losing our minds?

    1. Embrace the small wins.
    Did you remember to put the right bin out? Paid a bill on time? Booked your GP appointment without crying? Celebrate. Adulting is a marathon, not a sprint.

    2. Keep a parent on speed dial…wisely.
    Asking for advice isn’t failure. It’s a good use of resources! Just maybe don’t call Dad at 11pm when there’s a spider in the bath and trust yourself that the chicken is actually cooked. I would suggest a calm, collected text message starting with “How are you? Please help me” and maybe attach a photo of today’s life dilemma for context.

    3. Budget like a (realistic) adult.
    Yes, groceries cost more than a cocktail at Happy Hour, and rent can feel like a mortgage, but spreadsheets, apps, or even a simple “envelope system” can save your sanity. Treat yourself occasionally, it’s not a crime and life’s too short. Wine counts as a utility if it keeps your morale high.

    4. Don’t fear the admin.
    Calendar reminders, auto-pay for bills, and writing down phone numbers and contact details for your GP, Dentist, Car Garage etc will reduce heart palpitations. Accept that some days it will still feel like rocket science, and that is perfectly fine. Best advice…become besties with Dave the mechanic, Jeff the postman who knows your weekly parcel deliveries by name, and the corner shop owner who now asks if you’re “eating properly.” Somehow, by leaning on a mix of persistence and pragmatism you’ll be alright.

    5. Make independence work for you.
    Moving out, managing finances, handling admin…it’s all practice. You don’t need to be perfect; just consistent. And if things go wrong, remember: you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs and realistically, everyone else is winging it too.

    In short: adulthood isn’t about perfection. It’s about survival, adaptation, and knowing when to reach for the wine. You might never fully “grow up,” but you can absolutely live your version of ‘adult’ life in whichever way comes naturally.

    You Can Do It

    Nobody ever hands you a manual for ‘how to be a grown up’. The truth is that getting older means mess, chaos, expense, and sometimes just utter confusion. It’s a strange mix of responsibility, panic Googling, and pretending you know what you’re doing. Some days you feel like you’re barely scraping by, and other days you discover small victories; a fully cooked dinner with vegetables, a bill paid on time, or even a car that hasn’t broken down this week.

    In all honesty, no one really has it all together. What matters is that you’re learning, adapting, and laughing along the way. You’ll make friends in unexpected places; from your local garage to the corner shop cashier, and slowly, piece by piece, the chaos becomes manageable.

    The hope to cling to is that, somehow, completely inexplicably…we do it. We live. We laugh. And then we become the parents on the end of the phone with all the answers (or at least we become better at blagging it!).

    ON THAT NOTE…

    🍷Today’s Wine Pairing is…

    LAMBRINI â€“ cheap, cheerful, slightly fizzy, and deeply nostalgic. The perfect throwback for when adulting gets too real and you just need to remember the days when your biggest problem was what to wear to the non-uniform day at school.

    CHEERS…to figuring it all out, eventually!

    H x

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  • Best Dating Apps UK: From Flings to Forever…and all the Red Flags in Between

    These days, unless you fancy meeting your soulmate in Tesco’s meal deal aisle, dating apps are basically the only way to find someone. Gone are the rom-com meet-cutes; welcome to the digital meat market!

    Let’s be honest – the pickings aren’t exactly vintage. Between the endless selfies, vague bios, and cryptic first messages, it’s easy to get lost in the chaos that is online dating. You’ve got the “6ft tall” guy who’s actually 5’8” (and emotionally 4’11”), the ones who look suspiciously amphibian (sadly, a peck on the lips will not break the curse), and of course, the classic; people who are interested in just one thing, and it isn’t a long-term commitment.

    So here we are…scrolling, swiping, sipping wine, and praying that the next person doesn’t ghost, overshare, or open with “Hey”.

    Folks, welcome to modern dating; where red flags are everywhere and wine is the only coping strategy that makes sense.

    🚩 How to Spot Red Flags on a Dating App

    So, now that we’ve established the sad reality that most people on dating apps either have the personality of a brick wall, a face only a mother could love, or are laser-focused on one thing and one thing only…it’s time to talk ‘survival strategies’.

    Enter: the red flag zone. Think of them as the corks on those questionable bottles of wine. Spot them early, and you save yourself the headache, the regret, and the awkward brunches explaining why you’re still single.

    P.S. if there are any men reading this…take notes

    Here are my Top 12 Dating Profile Red Flags to look out for:

    1. The empty bio
      Either a catfish, a commitment-phobe, or someone who thinks ‘6ft tall’ is a personality trait. Spoiler…they are also NOT 6ft tall.
    2. Too many group photos
      Why are you hiding, Joe? Am I dating you or your five gym bros? Cue the instant disappointment when you scroll to find he is the runt of the litter…
    3. Pics with mostly girls
      Sir, this isn’t a scrapbook or a competition. These are not ‘green flag vibes’ because now I’m just wondering which one your ex is!
    4. Overuse of the phrase “Looking for a vibe”
      Red flag. That “vibe” is code for “I’ll ghost you in 48 hours, or less.”
    5. Weirdly negative or bitter prompts
      “Don’t swipe if you’re boring.” “Don’t swipe if you have an android.” “Don’t swipe if you drink gin”…Like, okay pal, first of all this screams emotional immaturity and second of all – therapy is that way ➡
    6. The shirtless Gym Selfie
      If your first impression is six-pack central, chances are the personality is on backorder. You are going to want to dodge this one my love.
    7. Bio full of clichĂŠs
      “I love adventures, laughter, and good vibes.” Translation: I literally have nothing interesting to say and most likely snort when I laugh.
    8. Only mentions alcohol, parties, or drugs
      If their life summary is “drink, party, repeat,” the only commitment they’re after is the table in the local bar.
    9. Obsession with their pet…to the point of WEIRD!
      Your dog is cute, we get it. But if the pet has its own dating profile, run. Also avoid any sign of “She’s a beauty…dog’s cute too”
    10. Cryptic job or lifestyle descriptions
      “Entrepreneur”, “Owner”, or “Traveller of Souls” = either unemployed, in a pyramid scheme, or hiding something (probably everything).
    11. Immediate talk of moving in, marriage or kids
      Red flag. If your first conversation is life goals at warp speed, slow down, partner – the wine isn’t even poured yet! Anyone who is in a rush is not deserving to be a crush.
    12. They have a voicenote on their profile
      Voicenotes on a profile are basically pre-emptive icks. If I can’t even get past your mate gassing you up for 10 seconds, how am I supposed to get through a date?       If I wanted recommendations, I’d check TripAdvisor. Bonus flag if it’s themselves talking about their ‘greatest strength’.

    If you fancy a more in-detail read on some red flag tragedies, click here to read my blog on the most common dating fails!

    🎯 Choosing the Right App for Your Dating Goals

    We’ve talked ‘red flags’, now let’s talk about where to look for the green ones!

    Of course, not all apps are created equal. Some are basically breeding grounds for the colour rouge, while others at least give you a fighting chance to meet someone who doesn’t list “living rent-free at my mum’s” as a personality trait.

    Let’s be clear, whether you’re after a husband or just a harmless fling, both are completely valid…provided you’re on the right app. Think of it like wine; you wouldn’t pair a £4 corner shop rosé with a Michelin star meal, and you shouldn’t use the wrong app for the wrong goal.

    Here’s your UK dating app cheat-sheet:

    💋 Fling / One-Night Stand

    • Tinder – The boxed wine of dating apps
      • Cheap, everywhere, and sometimes exactly what you need at 1 a.m. Great for a fling, a short-term distraction, or a quick ego boost. Not ideal for serious relationships or indeed marriage material. If you’re looking for a husband, I’d put this one back on the shelf.
    • Grindr – Tequila shot energy
      • Fast, direct, and no-frills. Primarily for gay, bi, trans, and queer people, it’s fantastic for hookups and flings. Not ideal if you’re after a long-term relationship, but perfect if your goal is quick, clear fun.
    • Happn – Spritz of prosecco:         
      • Serendipitous, local encounters – bubbly, light, and spontaneous. Great for flings or short-term fun, if you like a little chance encounter with your neighbour…or someone you crossed paths with at Pret. Again though, not the best for longer-term but you never know!

    🔥 Short-Term / Casual Dating

    • Bumble – RosĂŠ in a can:       
      • Light, playful, slightly more intentional than Tinder. Somewhat empowering because women message first, but can mean a mixed bag of emotional availability. Good for short-term dating, weekend fun or potential long term depending on your mood!
    • Hinge – Supermarket Malbec:   
      • Reliable and solid. Great if you want someone casual that could evolve into a “for a bit” situation. Make sure you select and display your ‘dating goals’ and you should (emphasis on should) find some like-minded matches!
    • OkCupid – Quirky Pinot:                                    
      • Fun, brainy, and full of personality tests. Casual dating with a side of conversation (ish). However, I would stick to low expectations, maybe a try before you buy approach! There is limited awareness on this one and I fear it is for a reason.

    💑 Long-Term / Boyfriend-for-a-Bit

    • Hinge – UPGRADED Restaurant Malbec:
      • It markets itself as “the app designed to be deleted”, so in essence it should be long-term focused. It seems the most popular, if you can get past prompts like “Dating me is like…” (spoiler: it’s never funny). Good if you’re looking for a proper relationship, or at least someone who owns more than one pillow.
    • Bumble – UPGRADED RosĂŠ in a bottle:
      • So a bit more effort on this one can lead to more success in the long-term department. Key feature here is to be open about what you’re looking for. Think: if their bio is ‘here for a good time not a long time’ they are not for you. If it is more like ‘looking for my person’, drop them a cheeky pick up line and state your intent. No room for beating around the dating bush…just get in there girl!

    💍 Marriage / Serious Commitment

    • eHarmony – Full-bodied Cabernet Sauvignon:
      • Slow to sip but worth it. Compatibility quizzes are long and a little tedious, but if you’re marriage-minded, this one delivers depth, stability, and serious long-term potential. Paid service, so expect a more committed (and slightly older) crowd.
    • Match.com – Classic Champagne:
      • The OG. Old-school, refined, and consistently reliable. Less chaotic than the younger apps, perfect if you want a sparkling, long-term relationship without the hangover of nonsense. Again, it’s only option is a subscription, and usually attracts a slightly older, more settled audience.

    🌀 Adventure / Alternative Relationships

    • Feeld – Organic Variety Wine:
      • Perfect for the adventurous. This is where people go when “vanilla” feels like a personal insult. Open-minded, poly-curious, situationships galore. Fantastic if your goal is exploration, less so if your mum’s already asking when she’s getting grandkids and certainly not one for discussion at the sunday roast.

    🍷 Sip, Swipe, Repeat

    So there you have it, a full rundown of red flags and dating app varieties, from fizzing flings to full-bodied forever options. Whether you’re dodging the “just here for the vibes” crew or swiping with serious intentions, the main takeaway is simple: know what you want, pick the right app, and never settle for cheap wine… or bad dates.

    Remember, don’t listen to your Nan…being single is not a disgrace upon your family! Everything happens in good time and the right fling, relationship, or “let’s see where this goes” situation will come along. And until they arrive? There’s always a good glass of wine, a cosy sofa, and maybe a cheeky scroll through the next app where someone will definitely have a weird bio and some cringey captions. 

    On that note…

     đŸˇToday’s Wine Pairing is…

    A good ol’ Cava – festive, bubbly, and hopeful. Because even with red flags everywhere, there’s always a little sparkle left for love…or at least a cheeky swipe.

    CHEERS to laughing through the tears and doing it for the plot!

    Until next time…

    H x

    NEVER MISS A POST! ~ SUBSCRIBE NOW (it’s free!)

  • The Awkward Flight: 8 Embarrassing Moments We’ve All Tasted (and cringed!)

    Awkwardness is life’s most generous gift, it shows up uninvited, overstays its welcome, and refuses to leave without witnesses. Like waving back at someone who wasn’t actually waving at you, or saying “you too” when the waiter tells you to enjoy your meal. These days even sneezing in public makes you feel like the star of an unintentional comedy! The universe has a knack for serving up full courses of rosy cheeks, sweaty palms, and quiet panic…but the best thing we can do is laugh, pour a glass, swirl, and sip through it all together.

    So grab your tipple of choice and prepare to relate! Here are 8 everyday moments we’ve all painfully endured, each with its own tasting notes of horror and hilarity.

    1. The Lingering Hug

    You go in for a hug. They go in for a hug. It’s nice… until it isn’t. Suddenly you don’t know when to let go, and now you’re locked in a battle of limbs where neither of you wants to be the first to break. Congratulations: you’re slow-dancing with your mate from accounting.

    Appearance: Warm and friendly at first…

    Aroma: Notes of panic once it lasts two beats too long. 

    Taste: Equal parts closeness and creeping discomfort. 

    Finish: Awkward shoulder pats and nervous laughter.

    2. The Dreaded Self-Checkout 

    All was calm… until the machine screamed: “UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!” Suddenly you’re a criminal mastermind in a hostage situation, sweating over your meal deal, waiting for a worker with the power of a thousand key cards to stroll over at the speed of tectonic plates. Bonus points if the queue behind you sighs in unison..

    Appearance: Innocent shopper, nothing to see here.
    Aroma: Sharp whiffs of public shame.
    Taste: Bitter tang of helplessness with a zesty hint of it knows something I don’t.
    Finish: Green light. Sprint to freedom.

    3. The Bowling Alley Blush

    You’ve bowled. The ball is gone. Now what? Do you cheer? Do you fist pump? Do you smile even though it was a gutter ball? Every step back to the group feels like a catwalk… except your audience is silently judging your form and your shoes squeak.

    Appearance: Confident strut turned shuffle. 

    Aroma: Hints of self-consciousness. 

    Taste: Mix of pride and embarrassment, depending on pins hit. 

    Finish: Weird thumbs-up and instant desire for someone else’s turn. 

    4. The “Please Don’t Launch Me” Trauma

    You’re on the bus or train. It’s slowing down. Do you stand? No, you’ll topple into someone’s lap. Wait too long, you’ll miss your stop. And if you’re on a double-decker, there’s the added obstacle course of clattering down the stairs while the driver takes corners like it’s Formula 1. Cue the faceplant into the wall at the bottom and two old ladies gasping at you. All you can do is sit, gripping the pole like an Olympic gymnast… except the only routine you’re nailing is “public embarrassment.”

    Appearance: Calm commuter façade. 

    Aroma: Subtle notes of panic and control issues. 

    Taste: Equal parts calculation and dread. 

    Finish: An aching hand and a stumble into the aisle you pretend was intentional.

    5. The Door Dilemma

    You push. It’s a pull. You pull. It’s a push. Suddenly you’re in a life-or-death struggle with an inanimate object. You know the receptionist saw. You know. So you pretend you were just “testing” it. Smooth. 

    Appearance: Normal human approaching a door. 

    Aroma: Immediate hit of shame. 

    Taste: Metallic tang of failure. 

    Finish: A forced laugh and muttered “this door’s tricky, isn’t it?”

    6. The Nightmare Reflection

    You spot a reflective surface. Naturally, you check yourself out. Except – there’s someone on the other side, watching you admire yourself in what turns out to be their office window. Now you’re forced to pretend you were deeply fascinated by… them? The blinds? Literally anything but your own face.

    Appearance: Casual glance. 

    Aroma: Thick with narcissism denial. 

    Taste: Sour pang of being caught. 

    Finish: Awkward cough and power walk.

    7. The Pedestrian Not-Crossing

    You didn’t use the crossing. Now you’re stranded at the curb, waiting for a gap in traffic, convinced every driver thinks you’re an urban menace with a death wish. Neighbourhood watch is already writing your name down. Each second stretches on like a public trial, until you finally panic and trot across the road like a startled pony, eyes firmly glued to the ground.

    Appearance: Innocent pedestrian. 

    Aroma: Undertones of social judgement. 

    Taste: Flat panic with sharp notes of rebellion. 

    Finish: Awkward trot across tarmac and regrettable thoughts of ‘why didn’t I just use the lights?’

    8. The Ever-Lasting Goodbye

    You’ve nailed the goodbye: the hug, the wave, the “see you soon.” And then…you both walk in the exact same direction. Suddenly you’re trapped in post-goodbye purgatory, shuffling side by side like unwanted travel buddies, until one of you finally sacrifices yourself with a fake “oh, I turn here.” Each step is a cruel reminder that life is just an awkward mess.

    Appearance: Confidence and ease. 

    Aroma: Sudden whiff of dread. 

    Taste: Flat, dry awkwardness.

    Finish: Forced small talk and fake laughs.

    We can all relate.

    Here’s the thing, life’s full of cringe, awkward moments and that’s exactly what makes it interesting! I am proud to be the person that has unexpected items and slams into walls on buses. These moments are all part of what makes us human and let’s be honest perfection is overrated anyway.

    So raise your glass to the tiny disasters that make life deliciously entertaining, and remember: in the vineyard of awkwardness, we’re all connoisseurs.

    On that note…

    🍷 Today’s Wine Pairing is…

    Prosecco – Bubbly, fizzy, and a little unpredictable. Every pop of the cork mirrors that tiny jolt of embarrassment we all know too well.

    CHEERS to just…being human!

    See ya FriYAY!🍷

    H x

    Have you got an embarrassing moment to share? Get in touch now!

  • Expectation vs Reality: Working From Home

    When working from home suddenly became the norm after COVID (throwback!), I think I had a very Pinterest-worthy vision in my head of what it would be like…effortless productivity, carefully laid out desk with a home-brewed coffee and a neatly scheduled diary ready to conquer the day. I would be brimming with motivation now that my soul-sucking commute was gone, and I hadn’t had to avoid the cleaner taking the best part of an hour to tell me about her husband’s knee surgery. 

    Reality, however, had a different plan. My ‘desk’ is a cluttered edge of a dining table, the dog won’t stop staring, the postman pops up hourly and my internet turns every Teams call into a guessing game…not to mention the social media and TV show distractions!

    By 5pm a glass of wine seems to be the most productive part of my day – welcome to the chaotic truth of working from home!

    🕒 The Dream vs. The Reality: Daily Schedule

    Expectation:
    I’d start work at 8:30am sharp after a leisurely breakfast, take stretch breaks, enjoy a short walk, and breeze through my morning tasks. I imagined preparing highly nutritious meals; overnight oats, smoothie bowls, balanced lunches full of colourful goodness, and feeling like I truly had my life together. Finishing on time with a sense of accomplishment.

    Reality:
    I roll out of bed at 10:30am, still in pyjamas, with coffee as my only real source of nutrition. The dog stares at me like I’ve personally failed him by not taking him out an hour ago. Laundry, dishes, and household chaos demand attention mid-email. Breakfast is whatever I can find in the cupboard that’s quick enough for me to still ‘appear online’. Lunch? Let’s just say it’s more crisps and leftovers than colourful salads. By late afternoon, I’m still staring at my task list, wondering where the day went, while Netflix whispers seductively from another tab.

    💻 You’re on Mute…Again!

    Expectation:
    Quick, efficient calls where everyone is on time, the WiFi works perfectly, and we stick to the agenda like professionals. A couple of polite, friendly chats to keep things human, no awkward silences, no frozen screens and maybe even a laugh or two before wrapping up early.

    Reality:
    Every call starts with the same five words…“Can you hear me?” on repeat like a broken record. The dog provides background vocals, barking at pedestrians as if defending national security, and I’m instantly regretting booking my supermarket delivery slot the same time as the postman arrives. The real dread comes when I hear that TEAMS call sound. It’s always when my hair’s in a towel, my eyebrows are missing, and I’m in my old S Club 7 t-shirt, complete with toothpaste stains. Or worse, I’m mid-binge at a dramatic point in my new show, and now is not the time for a one-to-one with Steven about Q3 targets. I enter the call with my camera off, silently praying he’s done the same. Then it’s all smiles, nods, and “mm-hm”s, mostly guessing if I’m agreeing, disagreeing, or just stalling until I can hit “Leave Meeting.” At least my pyjama bottoms keep me cozy.

    🪑 The Multi-Purpose “Office” (aka Kitchen Table)

    Expectation:
    A picture-perfect home office! We’re talking ergonomic chair, soft lighting, tidy desk, motivational quotes on the wall. A stationary drawer with pens, highlighters, and sticky notes organised like a tiny rainbow of productivity. A space that screams “I’m smashing this whole life thing!”.

    Reality:
    My “office” doubles as the kitchen table, snack bar, crafts corner and general dumping ground. Dog toys, unopened letters, toast crumbs and mystery cables all stage a hostile takeover of my workspace. My ergonomic setup? A dining chair with a cushion I optimistically call “supportive,” while my back files a formal complaint. On the plus side, the fridge is just three steps away – convenient for snacks, wine, and pretending I’m a responsible adult whilst ignoring the fact we’ve run out of milk.

    🍷 Wine O’Clock: The Real End of the Workday

    OK so working from home isn’t the Pinterest-perfect utopia I imagined. It’s a pyjama-clad circus, complete with a dog as the unofficial ringmaster and a calendar that resembles a battlefield. Yet here I am; caffeinated, occasionally productive, and somehow still employed. No commute, no awkward small talk, snacks and comfort always within reach. The small victories, like surviving a Teams call without freezing on a yawn MUST count for something. By 5pm, I pour a well-earned glass of wine, raise it to the chaos, and call it a triumph.

    Thing is peeps, life isn’t always the perfectly curated version we imagine…and thank goodness for that! If everything were flawless, life would be dull (and this blog wouldn’t exist…which in itself, would be a tragedy).

    On that note…

    🍷 Today’s Wine Pairing is…

    A light-bodied Gamay – Cosy, comforting, and perfect for the pyjama-wearing, multi-tasking reality of WFH.

    Let’s CHEERS, to a little self-deprecating humor, and living unapologetically imperfect lives

    ’till Tuesday folks! 🍷

    H x

  • It’s OK Not To Like Matcha!

    We all have them, those little unpopular opinions that make people look at you like you’ve just insulted their Nan. Mine? I don’t like matcha. There, I’ve said it. The wellness world can keep its frothy green potion – I’ll be over here with my tea, my wine, and my dignity intact.

    🍵 The Green Gospel

    In the past five years, matcha has somehow gone from a centuries-old Japanese tea ceremony to infiltrating cafĂŠs up and down the UK. It’s in ceramic bowls, overpriced lattes, doughnuts that were perfectly fine before they were green, and it’s usually served by someone with frosted tips and a tragic devotion to oat milk. You can find it everywhere, from Shoreditch, to Leeds, to every motorway station down the M5! We’re told it’s ‘earthy’ – which, in non-wellness terms, means it tastes like wet lawn. Aspirational? Hardly.

    😬 My Polite Sip of Doom

    I tried. Honestly, I did. I once sat in a painfully minimalist café in Bristol, watching the barista spend five full minutes whisking my matcha like it was a potion to end the cost of living crisis. I took a sip, smiled as best I could, and said, “Ooh, that’s… different.” What I actually meant was, “Why does my tongue feel like I’ve licked a hedge?” Of course I finished it, because I’m British, and politeness matters more than personal comfort. But in truth, if I wanted something green in a mug, I’d just let my tea bag sit there for a fortnight.

    🧘‍♀️ The Cult of Wellness

    Modern wellness culture would have you believe that if you’re not sipping something green and banging on about antioxidants, you’re doing life wrong. There’s this unspoken pressure that to be considered “well” you must love yoga, drink kale smoothies, and massage rosemary oil into your scalp before bed. But self care doesn’t have to mean choking down something that tastes like garden trimmings just because your Instagram feed says it’s trending. Sometimes a proper mug of tea, a chocolate digestive, and a bit of fresh air can do more for your soul than any powdered leaf…and none of them require a bamboo whisk!

    🌿 My Affordable, Totally Un-Instagrammable Wellness Routine

    So, if I’m not drinking Matcha, what the heck am I doing for self-care nowadays…

    1. Morning Hydration:
      Start the day with a big glass of tap water, straight from the kitchen sink. Bonus wellness points if drunk from a chipped mug.
    2. Mindful Movement:
      Instead of sunrise yoga, I shuffle to the corner shop in my slippers to buy a loaf of bread and some more loo roll. It’s cardio if you walk fast enough.
    3. Superfood Breakfast:
      Two slices of toast with real butter, maybe an egg for protein! No avocado, no chia seeds, no mysterious powders unless you count the icing sugar still hanging around the kitchen from last Christmas.
    4. Skin Care Ritual:
      Moisturise with Baby Lotion, put toothpaste on spots, and use whatever’s left of that face mask I bought in 2019. If it tingles, it’s working!
    5. Lunchtime Meditation:
      Sit in the garden, stare at nothing in particular, and soak in the chaos of children screaming and the faint hum of someone practicing the drums two doors down. Very grounding.
    6. Afternoon Pick-Me-Up:
      A cuppa and a biscuit. Or a cake. No matcha latte for me – unless the matcha is hiding inside a chocolate digestive.
    7. Evening Detox:
      A glass (or two) of New Zealand Sauvignon while having a whine with friends. Laughter burns calories, apparently.
    8. Bedtime Ritual:
      Remove makeup with the cheapest wipes from the supermarket, put on my oldest moth-hole pyjamas, and sleep like someone who didn’t spend £80 on a candle to “aid restfulness.”

    And the best part…not a single one of these involves pulverised leaves that cost more than my weekly lunch budget.

    🛋️ Confessions from the Comfort Zone

    Let’s be honest, we’ve all politely endured a wellness fad we secretly hated. Cold showers. Kale smoothies. Yoga in a draughty church hall. My advice, if you’re after something green-but-good, skip the matcha and reach for a crisp New Zealand Sauvignon instead. It’s fresh, fruity, and the only “grassy notes” are the pleasant, drinkable kind.

    And listen, if you genuinely love matcha, that’s fine. I’ll admire your commitment from over here with my wine glass. Equally, if you’re with me on this unpopular opinion, or if you occasionally fall off your carefully curated wellness journey, in favour of biscuits and binge-watching, that’s fine too. This is life. Do what you enjoy, have a laugh while you’re at it… and, if you value your taste buds, maybe don’t drink matcha.

    On that note…

    🍷 Today’s Wine Pairing is…

    A generously measured glass of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc – giving you all the green vibes without any of the bitterness.

    CHEERS to doing wellness your own way!

    See you on Friday for more!🍷

    H x

  • From Gaslighter Grenache to Love-Bombing Lambrusco: The 5 Wines I Wish I’d Sent Back

    Modern dating is basically a wine tasting with no spittoon. You sip, you swirl, you pretend to detect “notes of emotional maturity,” and then BOOM…you’re halfway through a bottle of red flag and wondering how it all went so wrong.

    We’ve all sipped from the same disappointing cups: the Gaslighter who made you question reality, the Ghoster who disappeared faster than your self-esteem, the Breadcrumbing ex who served just enough crumbs to keep you starving, and the Love-Bomber who came on strong and fizzled even faster.

    Think of this as your unofficial tasting guide – a breakdown of the five most common dating blends that leave a bitter aftertaste with a few sprinkled anecdotes to add some flavour! 

    So take a seat, have a sip, but drink with caution. These are the vintages best left unopened…

    🍷1. The Ghosting Gamay

    • Appearance: Bright and full of potential.
    • Aroma: Sweet nothings and “can’t wait to see you” promises.
    • Taste: Rich and exciting…then completely vanishes.
    • Finish: Cold, flat silence and obsessive stalking on our end.

    Notes: Starts strong with intense belief that this is the one, then disappears entirely. Pairs well with late night over-analysis and checking if they’ve watched your Instagram story.

    Yes, I know the army has a reputation for being emotionally unavailable and driven entirely by testosterone, but this one seemed…different. We spoke every day, he drove two hours to see me, a good fish in a sea of sharks, right? Wrong. My mother insists his phone was run over by a tank. I, on the other hand, am convinced he’s just deliberately MIA.

    Has it happened more than once? Yes.
    Is it my fault? Absolutely not.                                                                               Will it happen again? Almost certainly.

    🍷2. The Bread~crumbing Beaujolais

    • Appearance: Light and flirty with a youthful glow.
    • Aroma: Sweet compliments but no real substance.
    • Taste: Promises of dates and future plans that never arrive.
    • Finish: Frustratingly dry and vaguely humiliating.

    Notes: Just enough sweet messages to keep you hooked, but never enough for an actual date. Finish is long, drawn-out, and unsatisfying.

    There’s only so many “You’re gorgeous” and “How’s your day?” texts one girl can live off. So desperate times, desperate measures folks. Enter, the month long text-a-thon with a man who’s personality consists of a DUI. Bad boy charm, I told myself. We joked about dates, we joked about him being “passenger princess”, I even chose to ignore the fact he was using his passport as his ID (ick). Turns out, the only thing he was actually driving was my patience.

    Still, when someone calls you Angel Eyes, you temporarily lose your brain cells.

    🍷3. The Red Flag Rosé

    • Appearance: So pretty you ignore the alarm bells.
    • Aroma: “I’m still in love with my ex” and faint denial of personal growth.
    • Taste: Equal parts flattery and oversharing, with undertones of emotional damage.
    • Finish: Lingering unease with notes of “wtf just happened?”

    Notes: Perfection on the surface, but overwhelming hints of ‘toxic masculinity’ and ‘doesn’t believe in therapy’. Leaves you with: a migraine, a dodgy stomach, and a complimentary pen from his work van. Romantic.

    The meet-cute was perfect, like a classic 00s romcom. He knocked on my door, toolbox in hand, the angels sang and the heavens opened. I was convinced I’d won the love lottery. But by date five, the red flags I’d been ignoring were practically flashing like a neon ‘Danger’ sign above his head. He showed me photos of his ex…and the woman he cheated on her with, then casually mentioned schizophrenia runs in the family and he’s “pretty convinced” he has it too.

    The pièce de rĂŠsistance? His grandmother was murdered by gypsies – his words, “it’s not ideal, but I didn’t really know her.”

    🍷4. The Love-Bombing Lambrusco

    • Appearance: Sparkling, exciting, and a bit too polished.
    • Aroma: Overpowering sweetness and intense flattery.
    • Taste: Flowers, gifts, and daily affirmations – until the bubbles go flat.
    • Finish: Cringe flashbacks, height-related denial, and emotional whiplash.

    Notes: Fun, bubbly, and full-on in the beginning but then suddenly flat and a little sour. Best enjoyed in moderation, if at all.

    He told me on the first date he was a love bomber. That should’ve been my cue to swan-dive out the nearest window. Instead, I stayed. I got the flowers, the gifts, the “good morning beautiful” texts, the promises of sailing away into a new life. The dopamine hits were too much to resist and enough to forgive the 4-inch height difference.

    Did I ever get on the boat? No.
    Did I get a Bridget Jones marathon with Ben & Jerry? Absolutely.

    🍷5. Gaslighter Grenache

    • Appearance: Dark and confusing, but deceptively smooth on the surface.
    • Aroma: Notes of charm layered over emotional manipulation.
    • Taste: “I never said that,” with hints of twisting words and guilt trips. 
    • Finish: Lingering self-doubt and a sudden craving for therapy.

    Notes: Overpowering aroma of “it’s not me, it’s you” with a bitter aftertaste of you questioning your sanity. Best avoided, even if it’s on a 2-for-1 deal.

    Picture this: you drive over an hour because they called you crying, sad and lonely, and no one can fix it but you. You stop for snacks, M&S finest, despite your 50p bank balance, because you’re a literal legend. First words? “How come you’re here?” First blow. Second blow: “I’m not really hungry, but you can eat them” Sour notes begin. Finally, “I’m fine to be honest, kind of just want to be alone, I feel like you’re making this a big thing, not me.”

    Not just gaslighting… oh no. This is M&S Gaslighting.

    🍷 The Finisher: Sip Smarter Next Time

    Look, we’re all guilty of drinking from the wrong bottle now and then. Sometimes it’s because we’re lonely, sometimes it’s because they have really nice arms but really terrible boundaries. And sometimes we just want to believe the luxurious label even when the ingredients scream “artificial flavouring”!

    But here’s the thing: every bad pour, teaches you something.

    • You learn to trust your gut when the “aroma” feels off.
    • You learn that love shouldn’t leave you dehydrated and dizzy (unless it’s from laughter or a decent wine).
    • You learn that your standards are not too much, and wanting clarity, effort, and kindness is not asking for a Grand Cru in an Echo Falls world.
    • And maybe most importantly, you learn that the worst dates usually make the best stories…and the best blog content.

    So go ahead, pour it all out, but don’t forget to raise your glass to how far you’ve come. 

    You’re not bitter, you’re just well-aged.

    On that note…

    🍷 Today’s Wine Pairing is…

    A 250ml pour of La Vieille Ferme RosĂŠ (AKA Chicken Wine) –because sometimes it’s ok to let a fancy label hide a cheap price and a bitter taste!

    CHEERS to sipping smarter, loving louder, and knowing when to spit, not swallow;)

    See you on Tuesday for a 2-post week!🍷

    H x

  • What the hell am I doing here?

    So, here we are folks – the first post… GULP!

    First of all: thank you. For being here, for reading, for taking even 2 seconds of interest in this little endeavor. If you’re wondering what on earth this blog is all about, have a peek at the About the Blog page, it’ll give you a quick idea of what we think we’re doing.

    But if you’re ready (wine in hand), let’s pour straight into this week’s whine:

    5 Things I Thought I’d Have Figured Out by Now… !

    I don’t know about you, but when I was a scrawny teen, I really thought at 25 my adulthood would be more…adult-y. You know; meal prepping, financially NOT relying on my parents, a functioning sleep schedule, regular workouts. Instead, I’m sitting here at 10pm. I just got back from a ÂŁ7 pint at the local. I’m eating toast for dinner. I’m googling “Did the royal family kill Diana?” and “Why is my peace lily brown?”

    Relatable? I do hope so. And in the spirit of honesty, here’s a non-exhaustive list of things I definitely thought I’d have figured out by now…but absolutely don’t:

    💸 1. How to Budget Like a Grown-Up
    OK, realistically, how many “money pots” does one adult need to feel financially competent? I’ve got countless in Monzo. Each has less than a fiver. Each silently judges me. Every month they congratulate me via notifications that say: “You’ve spent 20% less than last month!” Yeah – because I have 20% less money to spend than last month. Sadly, my credit card doesn’t send such supportive messages.

    ❤️ 2. Dating for Marriage
    How are we supposed to meet people without apps?     And on the apps, why is everyone holding a fish? I thought by now I’d have mastered flirting that doesn’t involve memes or panic-typing “aha yeah same.” Instead, I’m ghosted by someone named Brad who thinks “u up?” is romantic.

    🪴 3. ‘Self-Care’ and ‘Wellness’ Without Crying
    Meditation, journaling, yoga, cold plunges…I’ve tried them all. My idea of wellness now? Putting my phone on “Do Not Disturb” and lying face down in a dark room until the existential dread passes. Self-care, but make it realistic.

    📧 4. Email Etiquette
    How does one even sign off an email? “Kind regards”? “Best wishes”? “Cheers”? Or do we just accept that an unhinged emoji might be the only honest choice? And don’t even get me started on subject lines. Nobody cares. I don’t care. And Claire – what is this? An email? A riddle? A cry for help? Whatever it is, I don’t think I’m qualified.

    😬 5. Social Energy
    Balancing wanting to see people with wanting to live in a blanket cave is a full-time job. Add the budget woes, and suddenly “going out” feels like a luxury experience. Even stepping outside costs £50 these days. Next thing you know it’s 10pm, we’ve lost the pub quiz we paid to enter, I’m eating toast for dinner again, and wondering how life spiralled like this.

    BUT, fear not fellow whiners, we’re all just winging it, pretending we’ve got our sh*t together while secretly panicking over council tax bills, car insurance and overthinking that time we ended a work call with ‘love you, bye’. 

    🛟 So, What’s The Coping Strategy?

    It’s fairly simple.

    Lower. Your. Standards. Read. This. Blog

    If any of these sound painfully familiar, you’re in the right place. Around here, we whine about daily life, love and dating fails, work woes, wellness attempts, and all the awkward stuff in between. So, grab a glass, join The Whinery, and let’s wing adulthood together.

    On that note…

    🍷 Today’s Wine Pairing is…

    A tall glass of Pinot Noir – it’s low effort, pairs well with regret-snacking, and honestly, it’s a good listener.

    CHEERS EVERYONE, to figuring it all out (eventually).

    See you next Friday for another whine!

    H x

    What About You?

    What’s something you thought you’d have figured out by now, but still haven’t?
    Drop it in the comments (or send me a message on the Contact page).