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  • Sun, Sand & Sulking: Why Some People Just Can’t Enjoy Their Holiday

    Photo by Natalya Zaritskaya on Unsplash

    As we are nearing closer to the dreaded (for some) end to the glorious summer, we are taking this opportunity to discuss a topic that will most likely be relative to many of our readers. We are also SO EXCITED to introduce a brand new feature to the blog…‘Readers’ Rants’: where we hand the mic to you, our brilliant readers, to share your funniest, strangest and most infuriating real-life stories. A new monthly feature that gives a new lease of life to your ‘Whines of the Week’!

    There’s a certain type of traveller who’s so used to convenience that they can’t handle even the tiniest inconvenience. You know the type: the person who books an all-inclusive five-star resort in the Caribbean and then loudly complains the sand is “too sandy.” Or the one who spends thousands to “live like the locals” and then has a meltdown because there’s no oat milk and the shower’s cold.

    This is what we call the ‘holiday privilege bubble’ – when people forget the actual purpose of travelling is to experience something different. Different weather, different food, different vibes. Instead, some people treat “different” as a personal insult.

    Why the Privilege Bubble Exists (and Why It Pops Abroad)

    The “privilege bubble” isn’t just being spoilt – it’s a cocktail of habits, comfort zones and psychology. At home, our routines are slick and predictable: fast Wi-Fi, Uber in three minutes, oat lattes on demand, and customer service that bends over backwards to apologise for a two-minute delay. We subconsciously build a mental model that this is normal.

    Take that model on holiday, and suddenly nothing matches. Airport queues stretch for hours, the toilets are a paper-free lottery, and no one cares about your loyalty points. This mismatch between expectation and reality creates what psychologists call a frustration gap, and complaining is how some people fill it.

    In other words:

    • Comfort zones shrink abroad. When you’re used to everything running perfectly, imperfection feels like an insult. Some travellers expect everything to run like a Swiss train timetable. The moment something’s “late” they spiral and that’s the holiday ruined.
    • Loss of control triggers stress. Travelling strips away our ability to micromanage every detail. For some, that feels threatening. New languages, different customs, and strange food can make people defensive. Complaining is often just anxiety in disguise because anything outside the comfort zone is a struggle for some.
    • Social comparison ramps up. Seeing other people “glide” through travel (or appear to on Instagram) amplifies the sense you’re “doing it wrong.” Instagram sells us the dream of “effortless” travel. Reality is standing in a queue with your sweaty passport and needing a wee.
    • Complaining becomes a coping strategy and a force of habit. It’s easier to vent about the queue than sit with the discomfort of being out of your depth. Let’s be honest
some people moan at home, some people moan abroad. A change of scenery doesn’t change personality and certainly doesn’t change the habits of a lifetime!

    But here’s the good news: stepping out of the bubble is exactly what makes travel transformative. The delays, the queues, the “foreignness” all of it stretches your patience, your humour, and your empathy. In short, a popped privilege bubble is a good thing
even if it’s annoying at the time.

    Readers’ Rants:

    Welcome to Readers’ Rants, the corner of the internet where we hand the mic to you, our brilliant readers, to share your funniest, strangest and most infuriating real-life stories. This week? A Greek getaway, a private transfer, and one holidaymaker who simply could not stop moaning.

    “We’re on Holiday – No Rush!”

    The 3 hour flight was complete, just a little hop-over to Kalamata airport for our week’s girlfriend holiday in Greece, two-centered because that’s how we roll. Alight the plane into the beautiful balmy sunshine, down the steps, across the tarmac and into the building…the very small, very full building. But that’s OK – we’re on holiday – no rush. Join the queue to pass the eagle eyed women on passport control (why is it you always feel like a fraud). This queue is long. Very long. It’s not really moving at the moment – probably because it’s Greek siesta time! But that’s OK – we’re on holiday – no rush. Slowly make our way through and find our driver (for our private transfer – because…that’s how we roll!). 

    Oh, need a wee before we get comfy in a modern, air conditioned people carrier for our 45 minute journey to sun, sea, and SLEEP. Join the queue for the toilet – but that’s OK – we’re on holiday – no rush.

    
.and then, ‘that’ person pipes up “Well I shall never come here again. Queue for the passports, queue for the toilets….” WOW. Some people aren’t happy unless they’ve something to whine about. Babe, you have literally just arrived on holiday having left the very wet, very cold Blighty behind for a week…or perhaps even two…to relax under the warm sun (providing it’s not too hot for you), swim in the crystal clear sea (as long as it’s not too rocky for you at the shore line), wander along the sandy beaches (avoiding those blasted sea turtle nests cordoned off with old sticks and rope), feast on local cuisine (yep, that foreign muck), and drink glorious Sex on the Beach while watching the breathtaking sunset over the ocean (I don’t know why the cocktails have to have such crude names and blimey, you might have to put your cardi on). I know babe…call this a relaxing break?!?!? CHILL OUT my friend – it’s OK – we’re on holiday – no rush, no problem….just roll with it and be *grateful*.

    And P.S. those sea turtles need all the help they can get, because only 1 in 1000 will make it past infancy…and I bet they’re grateful!

    ZK x

    If you have a rant worthy of a read, no matter the topic, we want to hear it! Get in touch via our Contact Us page or via our Socials and you could be a feature on our monthly ‘Readers’ Rants’!

    Life Advice for Dealing With Privileged Moaners

    • Set Boundaries: Don’t let their negativity hijack your holiday mood. Nod, smile, escape to the bar. Learn to ignore them, because ultimately, it doesn’t affect you.
    • Find the Funny: Treat their complaints like background comedy. Use it as entertainment and a story to tell when you go home. “Too many turtles” is basically free inspiration for a stand up show.
    • Gratitude Grounding: When you’re tempted to join in the moaning, remember: you’re on holiday. You’re lucky enough to be travelling, to have escaped the gripes of everyday life, you are free to do as you please
don’t waste it being negative! Guaranteed as soon as you land back at home, you will long to have appreciated it more.
    • Strategic Earbuds: Music or a podcast can save your sanity in queues or on transport and drown out any grumbling. And hey, if it gets really bad, take out your earbud, pop it in said grumblers mouth like a cork and use passive aggression to your advantage
 (Not my most helpful tip, but it would be a hilariously funny story!)

    The Bottom Line

    Travel is queues, waiting, and occasional chaos wrapped around unforgettable memories. You’ll never appreciate the sunset cocktails without the sweaty passport queue that came before. So the next time someone starts their “I shall never come here again” speech, remember: they’re stuck in their privilege bubble, but you’re free to roll your eyes, order another drink and stay safe in the knowledge that you are better than them.

    Relax. Be grateful. Take a photo. Help the turtles. And if all else fails, channel your inner Greek island vibe: “No rush. No problem.”

    On that note…

    đŸ·Today’s Wine Pairing is


    Vinho Verde – Lago: This is light, fresh and citrusy! Perfect for those relaxed holiday vibes and a personal recommendation of mine!

    CHEERS!! To sun, sea and to keeping calm while the privileged moan around us. May your cocktails be cold, your queue short, and your patience endless!

    See you in a week!!

    H x

    NEVER MISS A POST! ~ SUBSCRIBE NOW (it’s free!)

  • Expectation vs Reality: 10 Tips Every Traveller Should Know Before Going

    Image by Eva Darron 

    Welcome to the dream of “going travelling” – where every day is a golden-hour photoshoot, your backpack holds the secrets of minimalist living, and you drift from city to city like a free-spirited digital nomad with perfect hair. Your Instagram grid will sparkle with untouched beaches, smoothies served in coconuts, and your new life mantra: “Not all those who wander are lost”.

    Now, for the small print. Sunburn that makes you look like a boiled prawn. Lost luggage that only ever contains your favourite clothes. Hostels so dodgy the cockroaches leave you a bad review. Bowel explosions in a small local restaurant that results in evacuating the building. “Ordering an Uber” that turns out to be hopping on the back of a stranger’s motorbike. Boarding the wrong excursion bus and finding yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere, trying to find your way to a zipline course. Accidentally booking a hotel on Bangkok’s red-light street because you’re not culturally or geographically intelligent. Or my personal favourite: floating in the sea, getting slapped in the face by a fish and earning a black eye on what was meant to be a “relaxing island retreat.”

    Here’s the truth: backpacking isn’t glamorous, you probably won’t “find yourself” on a mountaintop, and the emotional rollercoaster will be extreme. But you will come home with a lifetime of stories, bruises, friendships and memories that you’ll cherish forever.

    In this post, I’m breaking down the glossy travel expectations versus the gloriously messy reality, plus the tips to help you survive, thrive, and maybe even enjoy the chaos along the way.

    Let’s unpack this…

    1. Packing

    Expectation: You’ve nailed minimalist travel. One sleek backpack, neatly folded capsule wardrobe, and perfectly labelled packing cubes sliding in like Tetris blocks. You look like a pro who’s about to breeze through border crossings.


    Reality: Ten thousand packing cubes somehow bursting out of a 65L backpack that weighs as much as a small elephant. Straps digging into your shoulders, flip-flops dangling off the side, and the sneaking suspicion you’ve packed more than you ever owned. You’ll still forget toothpaste and where the hell did you put your passport?.


    Tip: Lay out everything you think you’ll need, halve it, then halve it again. Buy the rest locally for a fraction of the price. (And yes, snacks still take priority.)

    2. Public Transport

    Expectation: You’re up bright and early, sipping an iced latte in your breezy linen outfit, ready to glide onto a comfy, air-conditioned bus with Wi-Fi and scenic views. You’ll nap peacefully, journal about your adventures, and arrive fresh as a daisy.


    Reality: You got one hour’s sleep after “immersing in local nightlife” and now it’s 5 a.m, you look like sh*t and your portable charger has gone walkabout. You’re on a rickety bus for a four-hour journey down roads that barely exist, flying out of your seat at each pothole. The air smells of sweaty armpits, stale clothes and – wait – is that someone’s cheese snack or your own feet? And if you thought a sleeper train would be better? Think again. There’s no Wi-Fi anywhere, only existential dread and a slight touch of homesickness.


    Tip: Accept that “luxury coach” is code for “deathtrap rollercoaster.” Bring water, tissues, wipes and headphones. Claim a window seat if you can, brace for bumps, and embrace the full sensory experience of “authentic travel.” And forget the travel pillow, there’s no rest for the wicked and certainly no space in your bag. You chose to roam the world; now it’s time to dive into every sleepless, sweaty, unforgettable mile.

    3. Accommodation

    Expectation: Boutique hostels with Instagram-worthy rooms, fluffy towels, clean sheets, friendly roommates, and maybe even a rooftop bar. You’ll meet like-minded travellers, share stories over cocktails, and sleep like a queen.


    Reality: You arrive to find a bunk bed room shared with five strangers, one of whom snores like a small chainsaw. Cockroaches apparently also want in on the bunk action. The bathroom is communal, smells of brown and you’ll look up to see some mystery mould, and your “immersive local homestay” suddenly includes a very hands-on lesson in outdoor toilet logistics: yes, that means a bucket flush over a pothole. You learn very quickly that “authentic experience” is code for “you will not sleep well and may develop a new fear of being outside.”


    Tip: Pack earplugs, a sleep mask, and anti-bug spray. Bonus: bring a small, thin, foldable sheet to sleep on if you’re nervous about the accommodation. Lower your expectations and remember: you’ll always have a story to tell when you get back home.

    4. Culture / Food

    Expectation: Exotic street food every meal, endless noodles, stir-fry, curries, and fresh fruit smoothies. Your taste buds will be dancing samba every day while you Instagram every colourful plate.


    Reality: By day three, the novelty has worn off. You’re dreaming of a greasy western diner pizza and questioning why every curry tastes exactly the same. Museums and temples are amazing, but after visiting ten with identical statues and backstories, your brain starts to glaze over and so does your stomach if you don’t get a little variety.


    Tip: Embrace the local cuisine, try new dishes, eat street food, get adventurous. But also remember: it’s no crime to indulge in something familiar every now and then. That little slice of home can feel like a reset button for your taste buds and sanity.

    5. Meeting New People

    Expectation: You’ll arrive at hostels and instantly meet lifelong friends from around the world. Deep conversations under lantern-lit bars, laughter until 3 a.m, and instant bonds that will never be broken.


    Reality: Bonding often happens over dodgy stomachs, random karaoke songs, and hilarious language barriers. You’ll meet amazing travellers, swap stories, and share experiences you’ll never forget
but don’t be surprised if a few characters aren’t exactly your cup of tea. Not everyone will be someone you’d “bunk” with again, there will 100% be some behind the scenes gossiping
and that’s perfectly fine.


    Tip: Embrace the chaos, laugh at the mishaps, and cherish the friendships that stick, and politely avoid the ones that don’t. The thing is, you might not keep all the friends you make along the way, life gets in the way and travelling all over the world to see people isn’t always possible. BUT you’ll keep the memories forever, a life well lived I say!

    6. Finding Yourself Abroad

    Expectation: You’ll wake up every morning enlightened, journal in a hammock, meditate by waterfalls, and return home spiritually awakened, glowing, and totally transformed.


    Reality: You still hate early mornings, you’ve developed a new appreciation for toilets with an actual seat, your laundry smells suspicious, and your “spiritual awakening” mostly consists of surviving a trek through a jungle, mosquito bites, and the occasional tropical rainstorm. Realisation hits: you’re exactly the same person
just with more stories, more stamps in your passport, and a newfound love for 7-Eleven toasties!


    Tip: Embrace the messy version of self-discovery. Every misadventure, every wrong turn, and every sweaty armpit is part of the journey. Growth happens in the chaos of the real world, not just in Instagrammable ‘beauty’ spots.

    7. Money

    Expectation: You’ll have your budget planned to the penny, effortlessly navigating foreign ATMs, calculating exchange rates in your head, and always paying the correct amount.


    Reality: There are about a thousand different currencies in the world and, surprise, you won’t remember their names. You’re waving monopoly notes and tiny coins around, hoping you’re giving the right ones, while mentally calculating if you can survive on $3 for lunch. Counting change becomes a full-time job, and good luck with any “fancy” notes. That £5 note with a tiny hole that’s fine in the UK? Over there, it’s instantly void. Small pen marks? Don’t even think about it. You learn fast that currency rules are made to be feared and respected.


    Tip: Count your change meticulously, keep a few backup notes tucked safely away, and accept that some mistakes are unavoidable. You’re travelling and part of that means spending money. And remember: surviving the day on tiny denominations is part of the adventure, just practice your bargaining skills
market vendors are tricky!

    8. Holiday Romance

    Expectation: You’ll have a dreamy fling under the tropical sun; swimming in waterfalls, sunsets in the background, and sparks flying like a Netflix rom-com.


    Reality: Holiday romance isn’t the steamy travel montage you’ve imagined, it’s often a little cringey and hilariously chaotic. The romanticised tuk-tuk ride? Mostly awkward small talk while you cling on for dear life as the driver dodges cows, potholes and his cousin is trying to sell you bracelets. That sunset beach walk? Interrupted by a rogue street dog running off with your flip-flop. The instant love connection? A bonding chat over matching mosquito bites, sunburn and happy hour cocktail buckets. Not every connection is a great love story, but every awkward encounter makes for a brilliant story to tell back home.


    Tip: Keep it light, embrace the fun, and don’t stress if sparks don’t fly. Holiday romances aren’t about perfection; it’s about the laughs, the mishaps, and the occasional cheesy selfie with someone you might never see again. P.S you’re not in love, it’s the sunburn mixed with the cocktails!

    9. Learning Basic Phrases

    Expectation: You’ll glide through markets and cafĂ©s speaking fluent, charming phrases. Locals will smile at your accent, compliment your pronunciation, and you’ll feel like a polyglot travel pro.


    Reality: You panic, mispronounce everything, and accidentally ask for a goat instead of a coffee. The locals switch to English out of pity, and you spend half your day gesturing wildly and hoping they understand. Somehow, you randomly find yourself confidently saying “thank you” in a sort of Brummie Cambodian and later learn how to say “I love you” in Vietnamese just because
well, why not? Still, half the time you forget how to say hello but a wave will suffice.


    Tip: Learn a handful of solid phrases – hello, please and thank you. Everything else can be improvised with hand gestures, smiles, and a quick go on duolingo in the hotel room. P.S. learning “I love you” in a local language may not help with transactions, but it makes for a funny memory.

    10. Coming Home

    Expectation: You’ll return enlightened, glowing, full of stories, and maybe even slightly taller from all that hiking. Family and friends will marvel at your worldly wisdom, and your luggage will be neatly unpacked within minutes.

    Reality: Jet lag hits like a freight train. You’re exhausted, your laundry pile could collapse a small building, and
you stink. Your friends are mildly impressed but mostly confused by all your tales of life-threatening boat trips, bus journeys, dodgy noodles, and 7-Eleven toasties. You secretly miss the chaos of the sweaty hostels, that karaoke song, and all the weird, wonderful encounters that made you feel alive.


    Tip: Give yourself a buffer week to recover, unpack at your own pace, and actually savour your memories instead of crash-landing back into reality. Coming home is hard but it’s part of the adventure
a bittersweet mash-up of excitement, nostalgia, and the itch to go again. Use it. Turn your photos and stories into a scrapbook, laugh at the disasters, and start plotting your next trip. Adventures don’t come with a quota, the only limit is how many times you’re willing to pack that backpack again. And when the post-trip blues hit? Pour a glass of wine, toast your courage, and start planning the next stamp for your passport. 

    BONUS TIP: ‘Becoming An Influencer’

    Expectation: You’ll effortlessly create Instagrammable content: flawless sunrise photos, endless reels, and captions that go viral while you sip coconuts on the beach. 

    Reality: Producing one “perfect” reel takes hours. All your time is spent worrying about which song to use, taking videos of literally everything and sweating through your elephant trousers trying to get that one usable shot. That dreamy hammock view? Mostly spent crouched outside of it in awkward positions trying to get rid of your double chin. Cue the realisation that the waterfall you climbed up to see was viewed mainly through your iPhone camera than your own eyes. 

    Tip: Capture memories, not just content. Post the bloopers, lean into authenticity, and don’t let chasing views ruin your trip. Sometimes the best stories happen when your phone is in your pocket! Travel should be about the experience, not just the grid and the basic wine glass at sunset still counts as content. Oh and for the record
free Wi-Fi doesn’t upload reels!

    Finally…

    You won’t always “find yourself” on a mountaintop or magically master every language or currency, and some experiences will test your patience (and your stomach). Yet every wrong bus, every awkward encounter, and every unexpected adventure becomes a story you’ll tell, and treasure, forever.
    So pack your backpack, embrace the chaos, the mayhem, take the detours, and don’t be afraid to look ridiculous sometimes. Laugh at the disasters, and remember: the best memories come from the moments you didn’t plan. And when all else fails, find a 7-Eleven, grab a toastie, pour a cheap glass of wine, and cheers to your big adventure!

    Collect your sunburn, mosquito bites, and spontaneous adventures like badges of honour, because at the end of the day, the best souvenirs aren’t in gift shops, they’re in the stories you bring back.

    ON THAT NOTE

    đŸ·Today’s Wine Pairing is


    Vinho Verde (Portugal) – Light, slightly fizzy, and super refreshing. Perfect for sipping after a day of sweating on a rickety bus or dodging stray tuk-tuks. It’s playful, approachable, and won’t judge you for surviving on instant noodles.

    CHEERS! To the memories that last longer than the tan 😉

    See you in a week pals đŸ·

    H x

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  • Expectation vs Reality: Working From Home

    When working from home suddenly became the norm after COVID (throwback!), I think I had a very Pinterest-worthy vision in my head of what it would be like
effortless productivity, carefully laid out desk with a home-brewed coffee and a neatly scheduled diary ready to conquer the day. I would be brimming with motivation now that my soul-sucking commute was gone, and I hadn’t had to avoid the cleaner taking the best part of an hour to tell me about her husband’s knee surgery. 

    Reality, however, had a different plan. My ‘desk’ is a cluttered edge of a dining table, the dog won’t stop staring, the postman pops up hourly and my internet turns every Teams call into a guessing game
not to mention the social media and TV show distractions!

    By 5pm a glass of wine seems to be the most productive part of my day – welcome to the chaotic truth of working from home!

    🕒 The Dream vs. The Reality: Daily Schedule

    Expectation:
    I’d start work at 8:30am sharp after a leisurely breakfast, take stretch breaks, enjoy a short walk, and breeze through my morning tasks. I imagined preparing highly nutritious meals; overnight oats, smoothie bowls, balanced lunches full of colourful goodness, and feeling like I truly had my life together. Finishing on time with a sense of accomplishment.

    Reality:
    I roll out of bed at 10:30am, still in pyjamas, with coffee as my only real source of nutrition. The dog stares at me like I’ve personally failed him by not taking him out an hour ago. Laundry, dishes, and household chaos demand attention mid-email. Breakfast is whatever I can find in the cupboard that’s quick enough for me to still ‘appear online’. Lunch? Let’s just say it’s more crisps and leftovers than colourful salads. By late afternoon, I’m still staring at my task list, wondering where the day went, while Netflix whispers seductively from another tab.

    đŸ’» You’re on Mute
Again!

    Expectation:
    Quick, efficient calls where everyone is on time, the WiFi works perfectly, and we stick to the agenda like professionals. A couple of polite, friendly chats to keep things human, no awkward silences, no frozen screens and maybe even a laugh or two before wrapping up early.

    Reality:
    Every call starts with the same five words
“Can you hear me?” on repeat like a broken record. The dog provides background vocals, barking at pedestrians as if defending national security, and I’m instantly regretting booking my supermarket delivery slot the same time as the postman arrives. The real dread comes when I hear that TEAMS call sound. It’s always when my hair’s in a towel, my eyebrows are missing, and I’m in my old S Club 7 t-shirt, complete with toothpaste stains. Or worse, I’m mid-binge at a dramatic point in my new show, and now is not the time for a one-to-one with Steven about Q3 targets. I enter the call with my camera off, silently praying he’s done the same. Then it’s all smiles, nods, and “mm-hm”s, mostly guessing if I’m agreeing, disagreeing, or just stalling until I can hit “Leave Meeting.” At least my pyjama bottoms keep me cozy.

    đŸȘ‘ The Multi-Purpose “Office” (aka Kitchen Table)

    Expectation:
    A picture-perfect home office! We’re talking ergonomic chair, soft lighting, tidy desk, motivational quotes on the wall. A stationary drawer with pens, highlighters, and sticky notes organised like a tiny rainbow of productivity. A space that screams “I’m smashing this whole life thing!”.

    Reality:
    My “office” doubles as the kitchen table, snack bar, crafts corner and general dumping ground. Dog toys, unopened letters, toast crumbs and mystery cables all stage a hostile takeover of my workspace. My ergonomic setup? A dining chair with a cushion I optimistically call “supportive,” while my back files a formal complaint. On the plus side, the fridge is just three steps away – convenient for snacks, wine, and pretending I’m a responsible adult whilst ignoring the fact we’ve run out of milk.

    đŸ· Wine O’Clock: The Real End of the Workday

    OK so working from home isn’t the Pinterest-perfect utopia I imagined. It’s a pyjama-clad circus, complete with a dog as the unofficial ringmaster and a calendar that resembles a battlefield. Yet here I am; caffeinated, occasionally productive, and somehow still employed. No commute, no awkward small talk, snacks and comfort always within reach. The small victories, like surviving a Teams call without freezing on a yawn MUST count for something. By 5pm, I pour a well-earned glass of wine, raise it to the chaos, and call it a triumph.

    Thing is peeps, life isn’t always the perfectly curated version we imagine
and thank goodness for that! If everything were flawless, life would be dull (and this blog wouldn’t exist…which in itself, would be a tragedy).

    On that note…

    đŸ· Today’s Wine Pairing is


    A light-bodied Gamay – Cosy, comforting, and perfect for the pyjama-wearing, multi-tasking reality of WFH.

    Let’s CHEERS, to a little self-deprecating humor, and living unapologetically imperfect lives

    ’till Tuesday folks! đŸ·

    H x

  • From Gaslighter Grenache to Love-Bombing Lambrusco: The 5 Wines I Wish I’d Sent Back

    Modern dating is basically a wine tasting with no spittoon. You sip, you swirl, you pretend to detect “notes of emotional maturity,” and then BOOM
you’re halfway through a bottle of red flag and wondering how it all went so wrong.

    We’ve all sipped from the same disappointing cups: the Gaslighter who made you question reality, the Ghoster who disappeared faster than your self-esteem, the Breadcrumbing ex who served just enough crumbs to keep you starving, and the Love-Bomber who came on strong and fizzled even faster.

    Think of this as your unofficial tasting guide – a breakdown of the five most common dating blends that leave a bitter aftertaste with a few sprinkled anecdotes to add some flavour! 

    So take a seat, have a sip, but drink with caution. These are the vintages best left unopened


    đŸ·1. The Ghosting Gamay

    • Appearance: Bright and full of potential.
    • Aroma: Sweet nothings and “can’t wait to see you” promises.
    • Taste: Rich and exciting
then completely vanishes.
    • Finish: Cold, flat silence and obsessive stalking on our end.

    Notes: Starts strong with intense belief that this is the one, then disappears entirely. Pairs well with late night over-analysis and checking if they’ve watched your Instagram story.

    Yes, I know the army has a reputation for being emotionally unavailable and driven entirely by testosterone, but this one seemed
different. We spoke every day, he drove two hours to see me, a good fish in a sea of sharks, right? Wrong. My mother insists his phone was run over by a tank. I, on the other hand, am convinced he’s just deliberately MIA.

    Has it happened more than once? Yes.
    Is it my fault? Absolutely not.                                                                               Will it happen again? Almost certainly.

    đŸ·2. The Bread~crumbing Beaujolais

    • Appearance: Light and flirty with a youthful glow.
    • Aroma: Sweet compliments but no real substance.
    • Taste: Promises of dates and future plans that never arrive.
    • Finish: Frustratingly dry and vaguely humiliating.

    Notes: Just enough sweet messages to keep you hooked, but never enough for an actual date. Finish is long, drawn-out, and unsatisfying.

    There’s only so many “You’re gorgeous” and “How’s your day?” texts one girl can live off. So desperate times, desperate measures folks. Enter, the month long text-a-thon with a man who’s personality consists of a DUI. Bad boy charm, I told myself. We joked about dates, we joked about him being “passenger princess”, I even chose to ignore the fact he was using his passport as his ID (ick). Turns out, the only thing he was actually driving was my patience.

    Still, when someone calls you Angel Eyes, you temporarily lose your brain cells.

    đŸ·3. The Red Flag RosĂ©

    • Appearance: So pretty you ignore the alarm bells.
    • Aroma: “I’m still in love with my ex” and faint denial of personal growth.
    • Taste: Equal parts flattery and oversharing, with undertones of emotional damage.
    • Finish: Lingering unease with notes of “wtf just happened?”

    Notes: Perfection on the surface, but overwhelming hints of ‘toxic masculinity’ and ‘doesn’t believe in therapy’. Leaves you with: a migraine, a dodgy stomach, and a complimentary pen from his work van. Romantic.

    The meet-cute was perfect, like a classic 00s romcom. He knocked on my door, toolbox in hand, the angels sang and the heavens opened. I was convinced I’d won the love lottery. But by date five, the red flags I’d been ignoring were practically flashing like a neon ‘Danger’ sign above his head. He showed me photos of his ex
and the woman he cheated on her with, then casually mentioned schizophrenia runs in the family and he’s “pretty convinced” he has it too.

    The piĂšce de rĂ©sistance? His grandmother was murdered by gypsies – his words, “it’s not ideal, but I didn’t really know her.”

    đŸ·4. The Love-Bombing Lambrusco

    • Appearance: Sparkling, exciting, and a bit too polished.
    • Aroma: Overpowering sweetness and intense flattery.
    • Taste: Flowers, gifts, and daily affirmations – until the bubbles go flat.
    • Finish: Cringe flashbacks, height-related denial, and emotional whiplash.

    Notes: Fun, bubbly, and full-on in the beginning but then suddenly flat and a little sour. Best enjoyed in moderation, if at all.

    He told me on the first date he was a love bomber. That should’ve been my cue to swan-dive out the nearest window. Instead, I stayed. I got the flowers, the gifts, the “good morning beautiful” texts, the promises of sailing away into a new life. The dopamine hits were too much to resist and enough to forgive the 4-inch height difference.

    Did I ever get on the boat? No.
    Did I get a Bridget Jones marathon with Ben & Jerry? Absolutely.

    đŸ·5. Gaslighter Grenache

    • Appearance: Dark and confusing, but deceptively smooth on the surface.
    • Aroma: Notes of charm layered over emotional manipulation.
    • Taste: “I never said that,” with hints of twisting words and guilt trips. 
    • Finish: Lingering self-doubt and a sudden craving for therapy.

    Notes: Overpowering aroma of “it’s not me, it’s you” with a bitter aftertaste of you questioning your sanity. Best avoided, even if it’s on a 2-for-1 deal.

    Picture this: you drive over an hour because they called you crying, sad and lonely, and no one can fix it but you. You stop for snacks, M&S finest, despite your 50p bank balance, because you’re a literal legend. First words? “How come you’re here?” First blow. Second blow: “I’m not really hungry, but you can eat them” Sour notes begin. Finally, “I’m fine to be honest, kind of just want to be alone, I feel like you’re making this a big thing, not me.”

    Not just gaslighting
 oh no. This is M&S Gaslighting.

    đŸ· The Finisher: Sip Smarter Next Time

    Look, we’re all guilty of drinking from the wrong bottle now and then. Sometimes it’s because we’re lonely, sometimes it’s because they have really nice arms but really terrible boundaries. And sometimes we just want to believe the luxurious label even when the ingredients scream “artificial flavouring”!

    But here’s the thing: every bad pour, teaches you something.

    • You learn to trust your gut when the “aroma” feels off.
    • You learn that love shouldn’t leave you dehydrated and dizzy (unless it’s from laughter or a decent wine).
    • You learn that your standards are not too much, and wanting clarity, effort, and kindness is not asking for a Grand Cru in an Echo Falls world.
    • And maybe most importantly, you learn that the worst dates usually make the best stories
and the best blog content.

    So go ahead, pour it all out, but don’t forget to raise your glass to how far you’ve come. 

    You’re not bitter, you’re just well-aged.

    On that note…

    đŸ· Today’s Wine Pairing is


    A 250ml pour of La Vieille Ferme RosĂ© (AKA Chicken Wine) –because sometimes it’s ok to let a fancy label hide a cheap price and a bitter taste!

    CHEERS to sipping smarter, loving louder, and knowing when to spit, not swallow;)

    See you on Tuesday for a 2-post week!đŸ·

    H x